It's possible this qualifies as "overshare," but I had the strangest dream the other night and I have nothing better to post today. I so rarely remember my dreams anyway, so it seems fitting to mark the occasion by writing about it.
I'm at the mall with my bike, coming back to my car. (I don't actually own a bicycle, but it appears the unfeatured back story of this dream is that I do, and I was riding it around the mall for some reason.) I reach my car, and I'm trying to use my key to open the trunk and put my bike in. For some reason, the key is not fitting. So I take a moment to realize what I'm really looking at, and then I see it:
Someone has come along and cut off the entire back half of my car, and they've welded a pickup truck bed in its place. The color has been matched and everything, but there's a clear seam between the front and back of my vehicle. They didn't even bother to change/remove/whatever the license plate; the license plate on this pickup truck back half of some other car is right there.
I have to contact the police and explain what has happened! So I get out my phone. Now, for reasons that make sense only in dream logic, I'm not permitted to actually call the police. I have to send them a text message. Now in the dream, my phone is not my spiffy iPhone. I have this half-sized little device with a full keyboard, each of the buttons mere millimeters across. (It's a shrunken Blackberry or something.) So I'm trying to type out a text message on this thing, but my fingers are way too big to type out the letters correctly.
I'm getting increasingly frustrated with this process, when a bunch of thugs pull up in a tow truck and start snooping around my car. I realize they have the real back half of my car up on the bed of their truck. So I confront them. "What the hell are you doing? What the hell did you do to my car?"
"You weren't supposed to come back so soon!" says the leader of the group. "We were going to have this all put back before you got back, and you'd never have known."
I'm kind of flabbergasted at this. I want to yell, "how would I have not noticed a giant welding seam all the way down the middle of my car?!" And yet, I realize the truth is that in fact I did not notice when I first walked up to my car. I didn't even notice at first that my car had been transformed into an El Camino or something; I only figured it out when my key wouldn't fit in the hey-wait-a-minute-where-did-the-trunk-on-my-car-go? (And by the way, there's absolutely no way I could have gotten to the mall in the first place with a bike somehow closed inside the back of my car's not-that-large trunk. But that's more dream logic and back story I can't explain.)
Unable to come up with a retort to this thug, I say nothing and step back. I have to finish typing this text message to the police and get them here! But these guys are already going to work on my car, removing the back section. I'm now worried if I don't get the police here before they finish reassembling my car, then in fact they will get away with this!
Suddenly, my boyfriend arrives. I'm shocked and amazed he's there, because our plan was to meet at the movie theater. (Suddenly, I have more back story! I was extra upset at this whole thing because it was making me late to meet him at the movie theater.) I explain everything to him as I'm frustratedly trying to type a damn text message into this ridiculous munchkin-sized phone. I'm also pissed off about missing the movie because, in the dream, I was going to blog my review of the movie and now I have nothing to post! And everyone is going to have seen the movie now before us and spoil the ending!
My boyfriend is just totally calm about the whole thing, and trying to calm me down, telling me I'm never going to get the message right if I'm so crazed. Besides, I can blog about this weird story instead of the movie, he assures me. And then...
The alarm clock went off.
As I said, I rarely remember my dreams, but the ones I do remember never have an ending, because it seems the only way I have even a chance of remembering a dream is if I am awakened in the middle of it.
But I figured I'd follow the advice of the dream version of my boyfriend and get a blog post out of it.
2 comments:
Thanks for sharing.
And I think your "wtf" label was made for this particular entry.
FKL
I laughed out loud when I read this, because it's so damned much like the dreams I have -- not the specific content (e.g., I don't recall ever dreaming that the back end of my car was replaced by a truck bed), but the general air of inexplicableness and the strong similarity to certain recurring themes in my dreams.
Specifically, trying repeatedly to make a phone call and never succeeding due to misdialing (how retro is that?) or punching the wrong buttons, or I can't figure out a complicated interface; and knowing that I have to get somewhere by a certain time, and I'm going to be (or already am) late, probably because I've wasted so much time in futile attempts to make the phone call.
I have to agree with FKL -- this is a quintessential "wtf".
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