And now, the best of the sarcastic and/or flippant comments from my Oscar viewing party. (Yes, this sort of thing is better suited to live Tweeting. But I'm not much for Twitter, and I'm unwilling to sit through the commercials and the more boring speeches.)
Away we go...
Right after Chris Rock jokes about Best Cinematographer, we cut to this incomprehensible shaky cam Blair Oscar Project camera shot.
Kevin Hart made a movie that got him an invitation to the Oscar ceremony?
This new ticker thing for the thank yous makes me feel like I'm watch CNN or something.
Between the ticker and the factoid boxes for the presenters, it's like we're watch Pop Up Video -- Oscars Edition.
I would much rather have seen the "Black Actor version" of The Revenant.
You don't need my amateur snark with Sarah Silverman providing professional snark.
It's awesome that the winner for Best Costumes wore a leather jacket with a sequined design on the back.
Thousands of people just regretted Googling "merkin."
The clip reel of The Revenant is about as long as The Revenant should have been.
Everyone accepting an award for The Revenant should thank the bear for being the only interesting thing about the movie.
How does a movie so full long, single takes get nominated for Film Editing?
(Yes, my group spent a lot of time trashing The Revenant.)
It's quite aggressive to play people off with The Flight of the Valkyries.
Ricky Gervais is sitting at home jealous of what Chris Rock is able to get away with tonight.
Time for the annual 30 second "what's the difference between Sound Editing and Sound Mixing?" conversation.
Mad Max: Fury Road might be on pace to win the most Oscars ever without winning Best Picture.
I love Ex Machina winning the Visual Effects award as a proxy for "should have been nominated in a lot more categories."
You may be wondering where C-3PO's red arm went. Interesting story...
Maybe the people who voted for Bear Story thought they were voting for The Revenant?
If I didn't love Inside Out so much, I'd suspect shenanigans in having Pixar characters give the award to Pixar for another Pixar movie. (On Disney's network!)
What is that thing attacking the head of the lead singer of The Weeknd? Or is he going for the Chris Tucker from The Fifth Element look?
There seems to be one set of prop "giant old lady glasses" back stage that they keep passing around to Kate Winslet, Patricia Arquette... whoever needs them.
Louis C.K. for next year's Oscar host?
The Rural Juror!
You might say Son of Saul was Hungary for an Oscar. (Unless you don't like terrible puns. Then you might not.)
To the guy holding Lady Gaga's picture frame -- dude, you're in frame! (The camera, I mean. Ugh, never mind.)
Elton John was there way ahead of Sam Smith for being openly gay and winning an Oscar. (Ian McKellen was talking about acting categories when he gave the quote Smith was referring too.)
In the Best Director montage, notice how ever other director was talking about the importance of telling a story. Alejandro G. Iñárritu just went on about using long takes. Style over substance.
Iñárritu totally called the orchestra's bluff... and won. Try to play him off, he'll just keep talking until the music stops again.
Yes, Leo did finally scream and cry hard enough to win an Oscar.
Don't get me wrong... I'm thrilled that The Revenant didn't win top prize. But seriously, how does the Best Picture of the year not have the Best Director or even one of the Best Actors or Actresses? I mean, the script wasn't that good.