And the Oscar Snark Goes To...

Miscellaneous things said by friends (or me) at our Oscar viewing party:

Did Justin Timberlake just sing "I've got this feeling in my balls?!"

Michael Shannon is not having this dancing stuff.

Cut to Seth Rogen on the "bowel movement" joke.

So, now it's the Academy Award winning Suicide Squad. Huh.

They had to show all 8+ hours of O.J.: Made in America for a week to qualify it for the Oscars. I watched it and liked it, but I can't imagine sitting through it all that way.

Props to Auli'i Cravalho (from Moana) for taking a thwap in the back of the head from a flag waver and still going.

The president of the Academy looks like a glitter truck drove over her and left the tread marks on her dress.

And speaking of the glitter truck, you have to dress that sparkly for anyone to pay attention to you when you're standing next to Chris Evans.

Mom's looking down on you? If you had that hipster soul patch, your Mom looked down on you while she was here.

Viola Davis has raised the bar. You want to win an Oscar, you're going to have to snot your way to it.

We're willing to go watch movies with Charlize Theron so she doesn't have to sit in an empty theater watching them alone.

Hailee Steinfeld's dress kind of looks like tin foil breast pieces over saran wrap.

Jamie Dornan is trying a mountain man beard to avoid looking like a waiter in a white tux.

You don't have to share your Oscar with your wife; you each got one. (How about sharing the microphone with her?)

Garry from Chicago is trying to put the moves on Nicole Kidman right in front of her husband and his fiancée.

Maybe Charlize Theron and Seth Rogen should keep each other company at the movies.

The winner for Film Editing has teeth meant to be in hidden in a dark room all day.

Silence was up for Best Cinematography. I hear it wasn't very good, but apparently you could really see how terrible it was.

Justin Hurwitz's hair seems to be hiding the car radio antenna.

The Memoriam montage seemed much shorter than I would have thought after all the celebrity deaths in 2016.

The Matt Damon trolling is the gift that keeps on giving.

I tell you, these kids today with their clothes and their Oscars.

Ryan Gosling looks like he doesn't understood why they picked that clip of him for the Best Actor presentation.

What the hell did Warren Beatty just do?!

The Oscars end with an M. Night Shyamalan-esque twist!