A Thrilling Engagement

This week is a momentous one for marriage equality in the United States. In the next two days, the Supreme Court will be hearing arguments in the cases to strike down both Proposition 8 and the Defense of Marriage Act. It's the latterI want to focus on here... or, rather, the plaintiff in the case.

After a 41 year relationship, Edie Windsor married her wife, Thea Spyer, in Canada in 2007. Although they had been engaged for decades, they decided they could literally wait no longer. Both were in their 70s, and Thea Spyer had been battling multiple sclerosis for half her life. A progressive paralysis had rendered her a quadriplegic, and she believed she would not have much longer left to live. She did indeed die in 2009, setting into motion the lawsuit that will be argued this week before the Supreme Court.

But before Edie Windsor became known for this case, she and her wife were the subject of a documentary film, Edie & Thea: A Very Long Engagement. It's a brief but powerful 63 minutes, and a powerful argument for marriage equality. And it does an excellent job of presenting two contradictory messages about same-sex marriage: "same-sex couples are just like opposite-sex couples" and "same-sex couples are not like opposite-sex couples."

Throughout the film, we see Edie and Thea in a variety of contexts. They reminisce over past vacations, looking at slide shows. They playfully rib each other in that particular way that seems so common in an older couple. But they also talk candidly about how secretive they had to be about their relationship for most of their lives. They speak of the risks of losing their jobs, of family members who weren't accepting, and of the slow march of progress in LGBT rights over the years.

But I think the most moving aspect of the film is actually its depiction of a couple dealing with a severe medical condition. The devotion of Edie to Thea is inspiring, especially when you think that she was there every step of the way to watch the steady decline -- from the use of a cane, to crutches, to a wheelchair, to a motorized wheelchair. The depth of love required to keep the relationship strong is unfathomable.

And anyone who thinks it's inferior to an opposite-sex marriage? Well, I would have words to say to such a person... but nothing the film wouldn't say more powerfully.

I grade the movie an A-, and in this momentous week in particular, I'm happy to recommend it.