Watch Watch

So, I might be losing my mind.

This morning, I woke up, showered, and then went back to the nightstand by my bed to grab my phone and wristwatch as I always do. But my watch wasn't there. Huh? I checked the floor around the nightstand, then under the bed. Nothing.

Okay, maybe I took it off while I was watching a movie the night before. So I went out to my living room and checked the table by my couch. No watch.

Back to the bedroom. I checked all the same places again. Opened the drawers of the nightstand. Checked the bathroom. Checked all the drawers in the bathroom. No watch.

Back to the living room. I dug in the cushions of the couch. Looked under the couch. Went to my computer and checked the desk. No watch.

Back to the bedroom. I check the laundry basket, and dig in the pockets of the clothes I was wearing the day before. I move the table, move the bed. Look under everything. Look in dresser drawers. Absolutely no sign of my watch.

Now I really have to be leaving for work, so the search has to be abandoned. But all the way on the drive to work, I'm thinking, "when am I sure I had it last?" Well, I left a friend's house the night before, having seen the time on my watch. So it has to be in my car, or in my place somewhere.

I check the car when I get to work. I find a half-eaten, six year old single-serving bag of Goldfish crackers -- which I don't eat -- tucked under the driver's side seat. A mystery for another time, perhaps. But no watch.

I try to make it through the day at work without manically looking at my wrist for the time every other minute.

When I finally get home, the search takes a completely illogical course. After coming up dry looking in all the same places again, I branch out to places my watch could not possibly be: the refrigerator, the dishwasher, every single drawer in the kitchen from silverware to pot holders.

And it still hasn't turned up. I can't function long without a watch. I'm just like that. Some would say, "your phone has a clock on it, just use that." I say that's pocketwatch level technology, and they invented wristwatches after those for a reason. I don't wear a chain and a waistcoat, so I'm damn well not digging in my pockets every time I want to know what time it is.

Which is often, I learned today.

So I will have to go out and buy a new watch, stat. Of course, I know that as soon as I do, my missing watch is going to turn up. But I'm telling you, I have exhausted every hiding place I can possibly think of, and the thing has just up and vanished.

What the hell?

...

UPDATE!

Eureka!!! Immediately after writing the above, I went through my normal "get ready for bed" routine, and then I suddenly had a thought of one more place I hadn't looked. I felt around in the sheets of my bed...

...and there it was, on the dead center of the mattress, with all the covers thrown over the top of it. How this happened, I don't know. I was pretty tired last night. Did I go to bed exhausted and forget to take my watch off? Did I somehow then do so during my sleep?

In any case, watch found! Insanity staved off (mostly) for a while longer.

Now, I wonder if I can get to the bottom of where those damn Goldfish came from?