Funny Tasting Chocolate

I recently watched Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (the original, not Tim Burton's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory). I think I'd probably seen the entire film before in 5 minute pieces, during its 17,000 television airings in my lifetime. But I had never watched it all in one sitting.

It's probably inevitable that I could never like this movie as much as some of my friends. Many kids of my generation grew up loving this film, continue to remember it with childhood nostalgia, and watch it through rose-colored glasses. In short, it might be that I'm simply too old and jaded to experience this movie for the first time now.

So take that into consideration when I say I was underwhelmed by the movie. I didn't hate it, but I certainly didn't see whatever makes people love it so.

I would certainly praise Gene Wilder's performance in the movie. He's funny throughout, and marvelously dry at times. There's actually less than an hour of film to go by the time he makes his first appearance on screen, but he commands every minute he's in.

The music was a mixed bag for me. Some of the songs have stood the test of time and become standards even outside the context of the film -- songs like Candy Man and Pure Imagination. But my uncertainty comes from the fact that I'm not sure these great songs are actually great in context. Willy Wonka seems too dark and sinister for a light and fanciful song like Pure Imagination. Why does the big opening number, Candy Man, not feature a single major cast member? Why does Charlie's Mom get a song when she's barely in a third of the movie? It all feels to me like an odd way to structure a musical.

But I can sum up what I really didn't like about the film in two words. And before I do, I should warn you that I've shared this observation with a few different friends now, and every one of them has said, "hmmm... I don't think I'm going to be able to watch the film the same way now." So before I risk ruining a movie you might love, I'm warning you that you might want to skip the next two paragraphs.

Okay, are you ready? What I really didn't like about this movie: Grandpa Joe. He's been "bed-ridden" for 20 years, and for a fair chunk of that time has watched his daughter maintain a family of six all by herself. Recently, he's even allowed his only grandchild to start working himself just to keep the family fed. But as soon as the prospect of a candy factory tour materializes, he's up out of bed, dancing a jig! How about shouldering some of the burden for your poor daughter and grandson?

And about that tour. Grandpa Joe spends the whole time bitching about how horribly the other children behave, but the second he and Charlie are left alone in a room, he's the one breaking the rules. He puts Charlie up to misbehaving, then yells at Willy Wonka when consequences are imposed for it, and very nearly costs Charlie his reward at the end of the film. So basically, Grandpa Joe is a lying, heartless, lazy, sanctimonious purveyor of double standards. Seriously, screw that guy.

Overall, I'd call Willa Wonka & the Chocolate Factory a C. I vastly prefer the Tim Burton version.