The First Time

Years ago, I stopped watching the "next week on _________" teasers that run at the end of television episodes. One too many things got spoiled for me that way, and I thought to myself, "I know I'm going to watch this show next week regardless, so why not just be surprised?" I found that almost instantly increased my enjoyment of that show, and the others I followed, and from there my policy developed into active avoidance of spoilers.

But with tonight's Glee, there was no avoiding it. I mean, I suppose I could have stopped reading the various entertainment web sites I check out, but short of that, there was no way to avoid the full court press of promotion for tonight's Glee episode. The creators were pushing it; the cast was pushing it. Then the Parents Television Council did that stupid thing they always do and got preemptively angry about the awful, naughty things that young kids in the heartland would see (providing greater publicity in the process).

There was no way not to know that this was going to be the episode where some of the characters had sex for -- as it spoiled right in the title -- The First Time. And I'm sorry to say, I felt the episode didn't really live up to all that hype.

First off, let me be clear that I thought this was by no means a "bad" episode of Glee. The heart was certainly in the right place. The episode was built entirely around strong character stories for the couples of Finn and Rachel, and Blaine and Kurt. As a bonus, there was a great subplot for Coach Bieste, a nice runner for Artie, and some nice moments for both Tina and Puck. And the writers wisely didn't seem to mind that this focus meant that characters who don't normally sit on the bench would have to this time. (Schu has never appeared so little in an episode, to my recollection.)

But the episode didn't quite feel natural to me either. In order to grease the skids for this particular drama, a lot of the characters had to be unusually direct and say things I just couldn't buy them saying. It started right away in the teaser, with Artie confronting Blaine and Rachel -- in front of two teachers! -- about their sexual histories. In any reality, a school teacher would tug that student into place so fast, your head would spin; never mind the unlikelihood that historically shy Artie would say such a thing in the first place.

But the unusual candor was just getting started. There was Bieste confiding her feelings and her love life in Artie (even less appropriate). There was the too-together-for-a-high-school-student Sebastian, unbelievably aggressive in his pursuit of Blaine. There was Tina, who believably shared a magical "first time" with Mike -- but less believably seemed to sully that more than a bit by sharing it with the other girls. There was the crazy-directness of Mike's father, who tore into Chang a bit too fast and brutally, just because the script only had time and space for a 30 second scene. There was the touching check in with Karofsky, seeing how he's found his way since leaving McKinley -- yet unbelievably opening up at the drop of a hat to Kurt about all that. There was Artie's unusually vulnerable speech to his entire cast on opening night; it's believable that this is how he feels, but hard to believe he'd share that with all those people.

All of this was set to a soundtrack of many of the blander songs from the mostly bland West Side Story. Oh, and a song that even Billy Joel won't perform in concert any more. (And speaking of inappropriate and unrealistic -- that woman the Warblers were borderline harassing had to be a teacher, right? Since Dalton Academy is an all-boy school, I mean? That felt really wrong.)

So, on the one hand, I really want to applaud the nuanced portrayal of teen sexuality. But on the other, the execution of the idea just wasn't up to Glee's best. Unless of course the point was that it was supposed to be a bit awkward, just like a teenage sexual encounter. Nah... I doubt very much that was intentional.

I grade the episode a B-. The idea would get an A, but the script really needed a few more drafts for polish.