A Phantoms Menace

An odd combination of influences prompted me to watch the movie Phantoms. It was filmed here in Colorado, and I tangentially know a few people who worked on it. It's based on a Dean Koontz novel that, from what more than one person has told me, is one of his best. And, according to Kevin Smith (by way of his movies), "Affleck is the bomb in Phantoms." It took me a while to get around to it, though, because it sure didn't look like a good movie.

Sometimes, looks are not deceiving.

I can still believe that Phantoms could have been a good book turned into a bad movie, because it plays like a movie with several scenes missing. The pace is so rapid fire that, while it's not hard to follow the action, it is hard to believe it. People are meeting one minute, and acting like life-long friends the next. Problems escalate from innocuous to life threatening in a matter of seconds. Explanations of the plot are few and far between... you just have to go with it.

If Affleck truly is the bomb here, it's only because he just goes with gusto. Some of his co-stars just ignore the bad and act like hell even more so -- chiefly Liev Schrieber. And then there's acting legend Peter O'Toole, whose appearance in this film seems to defy explanation. My theory: either he lost a bet and had to do it, or won a bet by voluntarily doing it.

There are a few good moments scattered throughout that make you pine for the truly creepy movie this could have been. A couple scenes depicting possession are almost unsettling, and a couple early moments of gore are gleefully effective. But mostly, the film is just boring, a truly damning thing to say of any horror movie.

I'd rate Phantoms a D+. There's not much there for even a horror lover to enjoy.