Wanna Hear a Dirty Joke?

Thanks to a friend of mine, I learned this week that, dating back to the days of vaudeville, there has been a famous dirty joke, legendary among comedians. Not a specific joke, but a framework really, in which a comedian improvises like a jazz musician. Well, actually, more like a longshoreman with Tourette's.

The joke goes like this:

A performer walks into a talent agent's office and says, I have the most amazing act for you! A family act!

[insert several minutes of improvised material here -- the most foul, offensive, off-color, vile, vulgar, horrible things you can possibly imagine... frankly, worse than you can imagine]

"And... uh... what do you call this act?" asks the stunned talent agent.

"The Aristocrats!"

The joke is sort Masonic, as if kept hidden by a secret society, never told in public. But how a stand-up comic tells the joke to his peers is often a measure of the respect they give him or her.

So how have I learned of this joke? A documentary film has been made about it, in which a wide variety of comedians discuss the history of the joke and perform their own versions of it.

The movie is unrated. After initially agreeing to screen it nationwide, AMC cinemas executives actually watched what they'd signed up to show, and backed out. So this is likely to be strictly arthouse or wait-for-DVD fare. It's been said the movie has screened at several film festivals already, and had numerous viewers walking out on it while dozens of others sat in stunned silence. Most of the audience, however, was said to be laughing too hard to breathe.

Between that, and my total enthusiasm for freedom of speech (a right that's been noticeably clamped down from where it used to be), and I can't wait to see this movie.

But come on... this joke. Could it possibly be that offensive? Well, let me offer you a sample, and you be the judge. The link below will take you to an uncensored version of Cartman from South Park telling the joke.

If harsh language and vivid descriptions of deviant sexual activities might offend you, do not click this link.

DO NOT click this link at work.

Don't say I didn't warn you.