Trying Two Hard

After watching the original Die Hard on Christmas night, I followed up a few days later with Die Hard 2. This one I knew I'd never actually watched before, in whole or in part. I also knew I was in for a disappointment, from what most people have said. (It's from craptastic director Renny Harlin; that really says a lot.)

The truth is, Die Hard 2 isn't actually that bad a movie, it's more that it comes off quite poorly in comparison to the original. There are times it strays closer to remake than sequel; it's certainly operating from a place of "here's more of exactly that thing you liked." Though set at an airport in a blizzard, the plot still positions John McClane as a one-eyed man in the kingdom of the blind -- not terribly well-equipped to deal with the terrorists he finds himself pitted against, but far better for it than the inept cops (who are also his adversaries). Many characters from the first film return in the second, even when they're a bit tough to shoehorn in. The ones who don't return are replaced by identical archetypes who behave in pretty much the same ways.

Even if you're perfectly fine with watching "Die Hard, Again," the real problem is that this sequel doesn't do nearly as good a job as the original at maintaining the suspension of disbelief. It feels like the movie gets wrong every single detail about airport security and air traffic regulation, even without viewing things through a post-9/11 lens. With modern sensibilities, the whole movie feels like it's taking place in a ludicrous fantasy land that never existed and never could. Not that thrill ride action movies are usually beholden to reason, but part of what made the first Die Hard noteworthy is that it felt like it was being a bit more realistic than other movies (at least in regards to the vulnerability of the hero).

Die Hard 2 is the "cotton candy" version of Die Hard -- empty, sugary calories. It's so far over the top, you can barely see the top anymore. Planes empty of fuel explode in ginormous fireballs. Characters deliver the cheesiest of one-liners, most of which feel like first draft filler meant to have been punched up later. Do you like naked martial arts? We've got them too!

Yet even in the campy construction, the actors are giving it their all. They seem to be having fun, and thus it's hard for the audience not to have some fun too. Bruce Willis is at his most wry. Bonnie Bedelia exudes bemused cool under pressure. William Atherton is (as always) the consummate asshole -- though Dennis Franz does give him a run for his money here. And while Alan Rickman's Hans Gruber is an irreplaceable villain, William Sadler does manage to make the hole seem not quite as gaping as it might have.

Still, the bottom line here is that there's really no need for Die Hard 2 in a world where Die Hard exists. Everything it can do, the first film can do better. I give Die Hard 2 a C-.