And the Oscar Goes To....

The Oscars are being awarded this Sunday, and for the first time in a few years, I've actually seen and reviewed all 10 of the Best Picture nominees. The Oscars use a "ranked choice" system for this category, so I figured I'd show you what my ballot would look like:

1) All Quiet on the Western Front -- In the alternate universe where I actually got to fill in an Oscar ballot, there's a chance I wouldn't use the ranked choice system at all. This is the only film that I felt strongly positive about. I understand it's not everyone's cup of tea, but I found it properly somber and moving.

2) Avatar: The Way of Water -- This is the first Avatar movie repackaged; it's only this high on my list in recognition of the technical achievement here. That's so not like me to prioritize in a movie, which I think indicates just how visually impressive the movie is. (But the variable frame rate experiment is a disaster that undermined what probably would have been an even stronger reaction to the visuals.)

3) The Fabelmans -- Two perfectly nice movies in one, that sort of get in each other's way a little too often for the whole to be great. But it's still watchable; I'm not sure Steven Spielberg has made a "bad" movie since 1941. (Made in 1979; "who's on first?")

4) Top Gun: Maverick -- Though not quite the complete repackaging of the original movie that Avatar was, this sequel is ultimately still a remix of the same plot points. But the original Top Gun has aged rather poorly in many ways, so arguably, an update was needed.

5) Triangle of Sadness -- A terrific act three, and a pretty good act two (even if it does go on a bit too long). Has good points to make, but takes its sweet time getting there.

6) Everything Everywhere All at Once -- The smart betting money says this is the movie that's going to win on Sunday. Truly, I wanted to like it more than this. Certainly, I think the cast was excellent, and I'll be happy to see them win the awards that, again, the smart betting money says is likely. But the movie was a trip through a buffet line loading the plate with tacos, spaghetti, a cheeseburger, and shrimp tikka masala. Some of the wild swings work; some really don't. And I think that "the eclectic nature of it is the point -- it's there in the title!" is an insufficient response to my feeling that the movie doesn't fully cohere.

7) Elvis -- Great performance by Austin Butler. I'd vote for him out of the Best Actor nominees I've seen. But the movie itself is a pale imitation of Moulin Rouge -- stylish, but lacking substance.

8) Tár -- Another movie that's all (and only) about the good performance at the center of it. But this is not the moment for a movie that plays into the false narrative that "all LGBT people are sexual predators," nor that portrays a rare woman in a male-dominated field only to tear her down.

9) The Banshees of Inisherin -- A black comedy without the comedy. The movie only gets slightly interesting when one seemingly innocuous line of dialogue suddenly becomes the entire focus of the plot.

10) Women Talking -- Stilted and formal, a square peg of a powerful stage play pounded into the round hole of a movie.

Don't agree with my takes? I'd love to hear your order! (And I'm betting your quibbles with me would pale in comparison to the ire you'll feel reading some of the anonymous "brutally honest Oscar ballot" articles floating around this week!)