Stones Carved by Hands and Water

There's more to France than Paris, and we wanted to see it. So after four days in the capital city -- already a fun and satisfying vacation of its own -- we essentially began a second vacation by renting a car, a Ford Puma that would be our home away from home for several days, and leaving Paris behind.

The first adventure was just getting out of the city. It would have been a stressful obstacle course through traffic for me, but my husband actually enjoys driving in general (and in new places in particular), and so I didn't have to do any of the hard work. Soon enough, we'd left Paris behind and were working our way gradually northwest.

It would actually be days later in the trip that we'd realize our smartphone navigation was ignoring tolls (and thus, for France, any major highways between cities). For now, at least, that made for a quite novel trip through the French countryside, occasionally passing through a small town and not-so-occasionally passing through a roundabout. (A few roundabouts are nice. Hundreds get to be a bit draining.)

We stopped briefly near the commune of Les Andelys, where you can look down upon the area and see the medieval Château Gaillard, built in the late 1100s. We briefly considered a hike down to the castle itself, but opted to save our time for more things to come.

The first of those was a stop in the city of Rouen. We'd heard that the cathedral in Rouen was a real sight to see, and we were not disappointed. Outside, the building is so ornately detailed as to almost appear 3D-printed, and the three different towers are each built in a different architectural style.

Inside, the cavernous space is equally beautiful, with striking details both in glass and stone. I must say, I personally found this cathedral to be more impressive than the famous Notre-Dame de Paris.

It would have been well worth the stop all by itself. But we also had a fantastic lunch at a local cafe, Le Central. (Which had another great French whisky; and unlike the Bellevoye from the night before, my online searching has suggested that Rozelieures may be more available in the United States.) We even fit in some shopping, where I found a nice fall jacket so perfectly suited to the day that I wore it out door.

I could imagine staying in Rouen for the rest of the day, but we had somewhere to be: specifically, Étretat. This small coastal town is known for its breathtaking cliffs, France's own version of England's famous White Cliffs of Dover. And they did not disappoint. From the beach, you can see two of three arch features where the sea comes crashing in.

And it only takes a short hike of maybe 15 minutes to reach the top of one of those cliffs. From there, you get not only a beautiful panorama of the sea, a golf course (if that's your thing), and a stunning look back down on the village itself... 

... you also see a third arch feature a bit further beyond.

As afternoon rolled into evening, we made our way to our stop for the night, the small village of Honfleur. It has a picturesque harbor, the Vieux Bassin, lined with bars and restaurants. It was the first time I really was pushed to used my French on the trip. In Paris, it seemed like everyone spoke English. If a person said something to you in French, and you paused for even a fraction of a second before replying, they'd just switch over and start talking to you in English. But it was "French only" at the hotel, and mostly French at dinner (where our server's only English was to tell us that her English was "catastrophic"; with a word like that, I had my doubts).

Anyway, said dinner was a tasty seafood dinner (what else?), followed by a relaxing drink overlooking the water as the sun set on another great day.

 

The City of Louvre

If you ask the average person to name something famous in Paris? Well, they're going to say the Eiffel Tower, of course. But if this were a Family Feud question, you could expect to see the Louvre up on the big answer board. We weren't going to miss it.

Of course, the Louvre itself -- the palace that once served as the primary residence for French kings -- is an impressive building expanded over centuries. Its far more recent renovation, the glass pyramids designed in the 1980s by I. M. Pei, are even more iconic. It all makes for some nice photos as you make your way to the line to enter (at the sign for your assigned time).

What you can find in the Louvre could be its own "Family Feud style" question -- except that you'd probably only get one or two answers from those "100 people surveyed": the Mona Lisa and the Venus de Milo. Assuming you knew both of those famous pieces were at the Louvre, you'd probably expect that it's primarily an art museum. That's not quite the case.

The Louvre certainly does have its share of paintings, sculptures, and sketches -- and given its sheer size, it may well have more of those than any museum near you. But the vast majority of the museum's collection is archaeological finds and object d'art. On the whole, the place feels much more akin to the British Museum than I was expecting. Yes, the furnished palace chamber rooms were ostentatious (like Versailles the day before)...

And yes, the extensive Egyptian collection was impressive...

But overall, we thought we'd be seeing more "art" at the Louvre. Of course, we caught the two "headliners":

...but even our efforts to dig a bit deeper than that were thwarted. We were aware that the painting behind a popular internet meme, Self-Portrait in the Guise of a Mocker by Joseph Ducreux (seen here), was in the Louvre collection. We even looked up its specific room number online... only to learn that that area (and half the floor around it) was closed for remodeling. So no pictures of us next to the painting, copying the strange pose.

While we'd deliberately gone to the Louvre on a day it's open late, we didn't wind up taking advantage of those extra hours. Instead, we opted for a leisurely dinner. We'd been having a lot of French food, and decided to mix it up with an Italian restaurant. (It felt like we'd chosen a good one when a vacationing family from Italy sat down at the table next to us.) And for an after dinner drink? We skipped the more expected French beverages in favor of French whiskey, Bellevoye, that turned out to be quite delicious. (Here's hoping we can find a bottle in the States some day.)

We ended our night a bit early, but that worked well for our plans the next day: we were renting a car to leave Paris and explore other parts of the country.

A Crappy Start to a Nice Day

"Last time on... My France Trip...", we'd visited Versailles -- and had actually gotten through a day without a misfortune. So naturally, misfortune visited us right away the next day. While seated at the tables in front of this morning's breakfast boulangerie, a pigeon on the edge of the building high above pooped directly on my husband's head. I have no picture. (I know, you're broken up about that.) He kept his cool as I dug out the wet wipes he'd smartly packed in our backpack, then cleaned him up. Crisis managed. Still, ew.

It was smooth sailing from there, though, and began with one of the best experiences of the entire trip: a visit to the Catacombs of Paris. All that stone for Notre-Dame and all those other fancy buildings in and around Paris? It came from somewhere, specifically from beneath the city itself. The extensive quarrying left a maze of tunnels beneath the city. And in the late 1700s, those tunnels were put to a new use. With cemeteries overflowing all over Paris, the decision was made to relocate the remains to a vast ossuary beneath the city. By the time the relocation was completed, the remains of over six million people had been placed there.

A self-guided tour of the Catacombs (with audio narration provided) takes you first through empty tunnels -- themselves an impressive sight. Then you enter the ossuary, where the seemingly endless piles of bones are a stark reminder that all are equal in death. Indeed, while many famous people are known to be resting in the Catacombs somewhere (because they were in the cemeteries that were emptied out), it's now impossible to know whether any given skull you look at might be Robespierre... or someone whose story is lost to history.

 

We had some time before the next activity we'd bought tickets for, so we decided on a leisurely walk toward Jardin du Luxembourg. We didn't run across anything worth stopping for until we came to a smaller park to the south of the garden, with a fountain I'd later learn is called the "four parts of the world fountain." The sculptures themselves suggest that the four parts might be fish, naked people, turtles, and horses -- specifically, turtles spitting water in horses' faces. Fun.

The Luxembourg Garden is a large public park right next to the senate building in Paris. The government building is closed to the public, but the garden is open to all. And we were so struck by the beautiful scenery that we decided it would make a perfect spot for another "picnic lunch" -- we grabbed fresh bread, meats, cheese, and wine from a nearby store, then brought them back to the park to enjoy the view.

Before we got back on the metro, we took a few minutes to catch a glimpse of the nearby Panthéon, a monument and mausoleum dating back over 200 years. We didn't have time to venture inside, though; we had 2:00 tickets to visit the Louvre Museum.

And as you could imagine, talking about the Louvre is worth a post of its own... which I'll pick up tomorrow.

Strange New Worlds: Orders of Magnitude

I'm going to pause the France blogs today, in part because the season finale of Star Trek: Strange New Worlds has arrived, and I'm three episodes behind. Let's make that two, at least, with a look at "Orders of Magnitude."

Pike, Una, Uhura, Chapel, and A'Sha form a landing party to seek out a distress signal in a deep cave of a planet, falling out of contact with Enterprise. In their absence, Admiral Simon Reeger arrives and commandeers the ship for an urgent mission to pursue a mysteriously cloaked enemy that has just carried out a vicious attack on a Federation colony. With key command personnel not aboard, Reeger makes the highest-ranking officer present his first officer: the visiting James T. Kirk. Soon, the two are at odds with each other about the lengths worth going to to catch their prey. Meanwhile, on the planet, an ambush by Andorian smugglers puts the landing party in danger -- and it may be up to Uhura to save them all.

So much for season four of Strange New Worlds being "oops, all genre episodes." Even "Off-Hour," the former trophy holder for this season's "most normal" episode, was a visual homage to 24. "Orders of Magnitude" is straight-down-the-middle Star Trek... so much so, in fact, that some fans have a nickname for this kind of episode: "Badmiral." The Star Trek franchise has seen plenty of episodes about some misguided admiral (or commissioner, or otherwise ranking officer) coming aboard and messing everything up with their malicious/incompetent/just-plain-different mission.

This particular incarnation of the Badmiral conceit is lifting a lot of plot points from the movie Crimson Tide -- but by no means to the degree that it becomes anything like an homage or send-up of that film. (I'd hardly call Crimson Tide a movie that everyone knows super well anyway. It's not even in the same league as "Star Trek does Muppets" or "Star Trek does Jurassic Park.") And the thing is... even I, who have basically loved and defended this wild Strange New Worlds season of tonal potpourri, have to admit that was pretty clearly the best episode so far. I can certainly point out that classic Trek did widely-loved episodes with gangsters and Tribbles, Next Generation turned the crew into children, Deep Space Nine played baseball for a whole episode, and more. But at the end of the day, if Strange New Worlds is going to be at its best when it's not taking crazy genre swings? Maybe it shouldn't take so many crazy genre swings.

There are a lot of reasons this episode works so well, but the performance of guest star Joe Morton as the Badmiral is a a big one. He exudes authority and mixes it up with the cast very well. Every confrontation with Paul Wesley as Kirk crackles; it feels like Reeger could do something wild at any moment. (And so it really feels earned at the end, when he really does lose it.)

This episode is a big step toward positioning characters where they're "supposed to be" at the end of this prequel. I didn't necessary need an explanation for why Dr. M'Benga would wind up essentially demoted to serve under McCoy by the time of the original series, but this episode gives a good one that's strongly rooted in character. This series has established M'Benga as a person who acknowledges the horrible things he's done, and who isn't above grand gestures to atone for them. Taking the fall for Kirk is exactly the sort of thing the character we've come to know would do.

In the original series, so many episodes turn on Kirk disagreeing with the orders of some leader above him that it feels only natural for a prequel series to give us the chronologically first time that happened. And the heavy implication here (though technically it's never confirmed) is that this is a Romulan ship out on a "Balance of Terror" style bombing run. (Maybe it's even the same ship, under the same captain?!) I feel like that particular detail might play better if Strange New Worlds hadn't already done an episode tying into that classic, but it still plays. Indeed, the tie-in actually shores up the arguments of both Kirk and Admiral Reeger. Twice now, we've seen that a "Balance of Terror" situation with anyone other than Kirk in the captain's chair doesn't end well. But also, Reeger is absolutely right that by not dealing with this problem today, it will happen again in the future.

Uhura also gets a promotion -- but more importantly, a key story for her character. Star Trek has offered up the lesson that "you can make no mistakes and still lose" a few times before, but I feel like Uhura's emotional investment in the cadet she's been mentoring was a new take on that. Having the baddies she's up against be Andorian, calling to mind her mentor, was an inspired detail. And getting to see her save the day was simply delightful.

Throw in some great visual effects (as always) and a soundtrack that seemed deliberately evocative of James Horner's work on Star Trek II, and... well, like I said, it was clearly the best episode of the season so far. I give "Orders of Magnitude" an A-.

Versailles

The next day of our France trip was mostly spent not in Paris, but in nearby Versailles, to see the famous palace there. It's an hour subway ride each way, and the château and its grounds are huge -- so a visit is easily going to take up most of your day.

It's well worth it, though. In the context of the modern super-rich, this shrine to opulence is a reminder that "the more things change, the more they stay the same" -- a place simultaneously impressive, ridiculous, beautiful, and gaudy. The chapel alone is larger than Sainte-Chapelle (which we'd seen back in Paris the day before), with elaborately detailed paintings covering every inch of its high ceilings.

There's an official Versailles app with audio guide, and we downloaded it to hear the descriptions of the dozens of rooms we wandered through. Though each room had a different theme, and was used historically for something specific -- guard's quarters, guest spaces, dining, separate bedrooms for each member of the royal family -- there was an unintended bit of comedy in the narrations. It seems that almost every room in the palace was also occasionally used for gaming. It became a running joke for us for the rest of the trip, that any space we entered was "also sometimes used for games." It conjured a new kind of board gaming "challenge" in my mind -- not to play each game in your collection at least once, or to play 10 games 10 times each in a year, but simply to play some board game in every room of your house. I'm sure us commoners could pull that off if we really set our minds to it (though the bathrooms might be awkward). But if your house is the Palace of Versailles? Good luck.

We paused for lunch at a restaurant in the palace before continuing the tour outside in the palace gardens. There's a whole separate admission fee to see them, and when we first stepped onto the plaza behind the palace, we wondered if we'd been conned. But soon, we discovered that if your time at Versailles is limited, you'd be much better off spending it in the gardens rather than the building.

At first, you see only a wide graveled area...

But there is a staircase up ahead. There must be something down there...

And yes, that's quite beautiful. This area, called the Orangerie (for the many boxed trees planted there) is certainly striking. And yet, after the so-far-over-the-top-we-can't-even-see-the-top of the palace interior, this can't really be worth charging separate admission, can it?

But wait... there's another staircase on the far side of the plaza. What's over there? We almost didn't go over to see. And when we did, and initially saw only a path down along a stone wall leading to a break in the trees on the right, we almost didn't go down. It just didn't look like much!

Boy, would we have missed out. That's where the real gardens -- implausibly huge -- begin. There are a series of hedge mazes, each one leading to a unique "bosquet" in the center. A wide open space with a waterfall feature...

A huge colonnade...

 A fountain show...

 

And more. Plus, a grand park -- literally named "Grand Trianon" with its own wild basin and artwork. There were hundreds of people milling about, canoeing, you name it. A few were driving golf carts, and only after we'd seen a few did we clock that they weren't gardeners, they were tourists who'd found a spot to rent the carts in order to easily reach as much of the area as possible. (We wished we'd done that.)

We'd come that close to missing out on the best part of a visit to the Palace of Versailles. (So finally! A day where something didn't go a little wrong!) And now I can report back to make sure you don't miss out if you ever have the chance to go.

Once we made it back into the city, we wandered for a bit in Le Marais, the Paris district that includes the city's "gay neighborhood." It was definitely an active, open place full of restaurants and bars. We enjoyed one of the former. We skipped the latter after seeing dozens of people crowding the streets outside for a smoke (and a break from the pounding music?). We're too old for that scene.

In all, a real highlight of a day for the trip.

Tower Interrupted

The rest of "monuments day" on our France trip actually featured fewer monuments than planned.

We had a couple of hours to kill before timed tickets to ascend the Eiffel Tower (that we'd secured in advance). We decided to fill them with another recommendation we'd be given before the trip: a visit to Chartreuse Paris-Vauvert. It's a tasting room dedicated to the green (or yellow) French liqueur -- a place where you can try a mixed flight of their more common varieties and more limited small batches. You can also order from a menu of Chartreuse cocktails, and pick up bottles at a far cheaper price than you find in the U.S.

As we were enjoying our drinks, the "misfortune of the day" arrived. An email came in to let us know that the Eiffel Tower was experiencing delays for "operational reasons" and we might not be able to get in at our reserved time. Should we not get to go up the tower, don't worry, our ticket purchase would be refunded automatically. There were a bunch of other "wiggle words" in there that left me with the impression that they'd opened late or something, and so the thing to do would be show up anyway and hope it all worked out.

It did not. When we arrived, the Tower was closed. You could still go through security screening and enter the park area directly beneath the structure, but no one was going up by stairs or elevator to any level. And from the "Operational Reasons" signs everywhere, it was clear no one was going to go up.

We wouldn't learn until the next day that we'd been caught up in something almost as quintessentially French as the Eiffel Tower itself: a workers' strike. It seems that a religious group had recently visited the Tower, and female employees were instructed to stay out of their sight. In response, the workers chose the one day we had tickets to stage their understandable protest. An official statement issued the next day sliced the bologna really thin: “To the best of our knowledge, at no point was anyone prevented access to the Eiffel Tower." I don't know about you, but when you think "I'm going to go to the Eiffel Tower," then unless you have a fear of heights, you aren't thinking "to just stand under it and look up." (It is kind of an interesting view, though.)

It was easier to accept our bad luck once we found out the reason for the closure later on. We'd have to settle for the picture from the start of this post. (Instead of "cheese," we were saying "we got screwed.") But... put a pin in this topic, because it'll come around again later in the travelogue.

We decided to do some shopping with the sudden gap in our afternoon. We liked the idea of looking for clothes that weren't necessarily "touristy," but were of a somewhat different style than you readily find back home. Something you could wear in the future, and you would know it was a trip souvenir, but no one else would.

When it came time for dinner, we decided to include an appetizer of escargot. (Had to do it at least once during the trip, right?) They tasted good enough, but the amount of work involved was pretty high. You'd have to eat a lot of escargot to build the dexterity required.

We wandered a bit in the area of our hotel, and finally ended our night with an unexpected stop at a speakeasy called Moonshiner. You literally walk into a pizza place, nod politely to the staff, and head directly for the door of their walk-in freezer.... which, when opened, actually takes you to a dark-but-classy bar.

I sort of find the idea of a speakeasy a bit silly, but there was something surreal and next level about visiting one in France. You guys never even had Prohibition like America, you know? I mean, can you even imagine the French giving up their wine? Our (stupid) "culture" is not your costume! But the cocktails were pretty good, and a nice way to end the day.

Going to Church(es) in Paris

Our first full day in Paris was, loosely speaking, "monuments day." It began as nearly every morning would for the rest of the trip: with a stop at a new and random bakery for croissant, pain au chocolat, or some other bit of concentrated deliciousness. I've already mentioned that we'd learn any French wine at any price point was going to be good at a minimum. That seemed to go double for breakfast baked goods. We never picked a bad boulangerie for the entire trip, and sometimes it seemed like each was better than the last.

Next we were off to Sainte-Chapelle, a Gothic royal chapel dating back to the 13th century. It's on the Île de la Cité, just a few minutes' walk from the far more famous Notre-Dame. It's easy to see both in one morning, though I think not so many tourists do. That's their loss, because the upper of the two levels features a stunning array of stained glass windows. While the space is undergoing repairs right now, a very cunningly placed mirrored wall served to preserve the full effect of the open space and vivid colors.

As beautiful as Sainte-Chapelle was, we weren't going to skip Notre-Dame de Paris, of course. It's coming up on two years since the cathedral reopened after a five-year closure following the 2019 fire. Work continues with cranes still on site, though as you approach the well-known front facade, there's really no sign that anything ever happened. But the main entrance was not our destination; instead, we'd bought tickets ahead of time to visit the towers high atop the building.

That experience was a wonderful blend of old and new. On the one hand, you get to see dozens of the cathedral's gargoyles up close -- in all their unexpected varieties from demon-faced to bird-headed to... baby-eating(?). And this is all often set against the Paris skyline in a magical way. On the other hand, you make the last half of the tower climb on a freshly built spiral staircase replacing the one lost in the fire.

After the tower tour, we decided to wait for a while in the line to enter the ground floor of the cathedral. The timing of that worked out quite fortuitously, as we made it inside at about 11:57 am. Notre-Dame isn't just a tourist destination; it's an active church, and we had arrived just in time for noon mass. While I have zero affinity for religion and even less knowledge about the steps of the "Catholic hokey pokey" (stand up, sit down, say this phrase, etc.), my husband and I decided it was worth sitting a while anyway for the unique experience.

I'd been trying to use my modest French language skills on the trip, but they were clearly not up to understanding a Catholic mass in French. I suspected that Apple probably wasn't up to that task either, but I popped in my AirPods anyway and toggled translation mode just to see what would happen. It turns out that the volume was the real obstacle; the different priests (even "amplified") were practically inaudible in the cavernous space. Rather humorously, the voice of Siri would occasionally spit a single word in my ear ("Lord"). Every now and then, it would shock me with a surprisingly coherent sentence fragment ("Jesus said to the Pharisees"). After perhaps 10 or 15 minutes, the moment came to take communion, and we took that as our cue to leave the area of the service and join the other tourists milling about the side chapels and niches.

By the time we were done with Notre-Dame, it was time for lunch -- and a dear friend had given us a great recommendation. Not a specific restaurant, but an idea. You don't have to work hard at all in Paris to find fresh bread and good wine, and you can even find them at a corner store that also has lunch meats and cheeses. Basically, the makings of an impromptu picnic are probably never more than five minutes away. So for the first of several times throughout the trip, we did just that -- this time setting up our "picnic" right there on the banks of the Seine right by Notre-Dame.

It was barely past 1:00, but it already felt like a wonderful and full day. And also, a long enough blog post for now. So at the risk of making my trip recap last more days than it actually took to take the trip, I'll pause there and resume the narrative another time.

We'll Always Have Paris

It's been a few weeks since my last blog post... because I've spent most of those two weeks vacationing in France! It was a magical trip for me and my husband. To help me preserve the memories, I'll be sharing a detailed recap over the coming weeks (sprinkled in with other kinds of posts).

We had a direct flight to Paris on Air France, for which we showed up to DIA "probably too early." (We just don't like the stress that comes with cutting it close.) So for lunch, we discovered a speakeasy on Concourse A called Williams and Graham. (It seems these days they'll put a speakeasy anywhere. They know alcohol has been legal again for a while now, right?) Anyway, great pesto pasta and good drinks there, which helped going into the long flight.

Our arrival in Paris immediately kicked off an unfortunate recurring theme of the trip: there were going to be quite a few (fortunately minor) misfortunes; almost one every day. On this day, it was that the subway from the airport into the city was shut down for a power outage. So they were running busses to take people to the closest operating station to pick up the subway from there. Not nearly enough busses, though; it took a little over two hours just to get on one.

We did finally reach our hotel, and the Star Trek fan in me couldn't help but be tickled that it was on the opposite corner from a "Picard." (It's a nationwide store chain that sells frozen dinners, so... actually not that interesting.) Once checked in at last, we began a light afternoon and evening. We ate early dinner at a restaurant called Pradel. That started a much more pleasant recurring theme of the trip: the food was pretty good everywhere we went. The wine was even better; you could pretty much roll the dice on any French wine at any price point, and the results would "good" if not "great."

We wandered a bit before making our way to a cruise on the river Seine we'd planned ahead of time. This one was timed at sunset, which made for many lovely views (which have been the images throughout this post). However, they informed us at the outset that their sunset cruises are never "guided." I guess they figure that pointing out the different sights to you isn't quite romantic. Fortunately, the most famous locations speak for themselves. We passed Notre-Dame Cathedral, the Louvre, and of course the Eiffel Tower, among many others. We got to see the balloon-like Olympic Cauldron, which still lights up and floats in the evening sky.

Seine River cruises are a popular tourist activity, and we passed a lot of other boats full of people doing the same thing we were. And we couldn't help but notice, with a lot of kids doing the "6-7" hand-weighing gesture at us with amused giggles. Call it brain fog from the time change, but it took us several boats (no, not quite six or seven) to realize this was all being instigated by some guy near the front of our boat. 

Anyway, jet lag will not be denied. That was all the energy we could muster for the first day. So whether we'd sleep through the night or not, at least it would be in a hotel bed and not seated on an airplane. Next time... our first full day in Paris. 

Strange New Worlds: Like Chronitons Through the Hourglass

Star Trek: Strange New Worlds continued its season four genre tour this week. And chances are you knew exactly what this week's genre would be just by glancing at the title: "Like Chronitons Through the Hourglass."

Pike awakens in Sickbay to find the ship's entire crew acting in an unusually heightened manner. When Uhura tells him she's his long lost daughter, Pike suspects what's really happening: interference from the unusual godlike alien Enterprise encountered a year earlier. Indeed -- he's back, and running a social experiment on the ant-like humans to impress his elders: turning Enterprise into a soap opera. Spock needs a "living heart transplant" from his twin brother Sybok. Dr. M'Benga must confront his "space madness." And Pike must deal not only with Uhura, but uncover the reason why only he seems aware that he's living in a daytime drama.

I really have just one qualm about this episode: I don't like that they went back to the Trelane well. As fun as Rhys Darby was in the character's previous Strange New Worlds appearance, I'm not at all eager for Strange New Worlds to overuse him in the way that past Star Trek overused the character of Q.

But... if you're going to use Trelane (a Q by any other name, as his last episode established), then you can get away with a lot. He's a dose of fantasy and magic in a fundamentally science fiction show, for all the good and ill that represents. So if you want to do a soap opera episode, you can just do it. No bending over backwards for a sci-fi explanation about why the crew is singing, or turned into Vulcans, or having a "Hangover."

So, having dispensed with the justification? I pretty much give the rest of the episode a 10 out of 10, no notes. The commitment to the bit was complete at every level. The camera work was spot on, from gauzy filters (which even Pike notices) to subtle handheld drift to abrupt crash zooms. The musical score (which again, Pike commented on) absolutely captured the soap opera vibe. The script not only featured over-the-top dialogue, it made sure to repeat that dialogue whenever coming back from a commercial break or intercut scene.

As for the actors? They got it. Genre science fiction is already closer to a soap opera than many fans might like to admit, and it took only the tiniest push for the acting to cross the line. (I think lifting so much Sybok dialogue directly from Star Trek V only underscores the point.) Some of the techniques were hilariously direct, like taking strange pauses and staring off into nowhere (again, commented on by Pike). Some were delightfully subtle, like Uhura's pouty walk as she stormed out. Shaky hands from M'Benga, an eyebrow from Ortegas... all straight from the soap opera playbook. (And let's not overlook the guest star turn from Days of Our Lives stalwart Deidre Hall.)

But the even greater acting accomplishment came in the moments that weren't over-the-top. When Pike finally gets to talk to his "real daughter," I was actually moved -- that quickly, at the climax of a relentlessly comedic episode. Pike's breakdown at the end (opposite Deidre Hall!) was equally powerful. And in perhaps the greatest tightrope act a Star Trek actor has ever walked, Celia Rose Gooding crushed the scene where she talks about the death of her family when she was a teenager: she pulled things back just enough for it to not be silly, but was still emotional enough for it to read as a soap opera performance. (Someone give her a Daytime Emmy.)

Thankfully, they didn't try to pull "it never happened" on us for the second time this season. (Even though "it was all a dream" would have been a tonally perfect soap opera choice.) Letting the characters carry these feelings into the future may pay off in later episodes -- much as this episode paid off for Pike's experiences in previous ones. Once again, Strange New Worlds blends the one-off stories with ongoing story arcs in master fashion.

I give "Like Chronitons Through the Hourglass" an A-. It's my favorite episode of the season so far. (Right down to the post-credits gag! Don't touch that "back" button!) 

Don't Overlook the Bay

Most of the shows on Apple TV+ seem to be relying exclusively on word-of-mouth; you hear about them from one of your friends, or you don't hear about them at all. But a recent new show that bucked that trend was Widow's Bay. I didn't finish the series during the hot minute everyone online seemed to be talking about it... but I have now, and better late than never?

Widow's Bay is a titular island town in New England, beset with all kinds of unsettling supernatural evils thanks to a centuries-old curse. That doesn't stop mayor Tom Loftis from pushing to bring more tourism to the island. But after a chain of unexplained and increasingly horrific experiences, he might just start listening to the crackpot Wyck Crawford.

This show is the brainchild of Katie Dippold, one of the writers of Parks and Recreation who has now gone onto a "solo career after the band broke up." That background should help set your expectations, because Widow's Bay is a weirdly funny show. This isn't a horror tale with one or two moments designed to release tension by provoking laughter -- a twisted sense of humor is woven throughout. But the show does also have plenty of straight-up scares and creeping dread. The tone really refuses to be pinned down.

To pull it off, you need a very nimble cast of actors. Fortunately, Widow's Bay has it. Matthew Rhys stars as the mayor. Rhys is one of the handful of true TV stars, a person who has been around for decades and has never gone long without being on a show. This is surely the closest thing to comedy he's ever done... though the show uses him to great effect like the "straight man" in a double act. Also playing somewhat against type is Stephen Root as Crawford. There's something about this "crazy ol' coot" character that comes across even more fun when an accomplished comedian like Root is playing it so earnestly.

But while those two are nominally the stars, there's a long list of secondary characters all perfectly cast with long-working actors (with memorable faces) who totally understand the mixed tone the show is going for: Dale Dickey, Jeff Hiller, K Callan, and more. And one key part of the ensemble is Kate O'Flynn as the mayor's quirky assistant Patricia, who takes the spotlight herself in a key early episode that breaks up the formula you might think the series is settling into.

It's a shame (and a bit mystifying to me) that the show premiered in spring and spooled out weekly episodes into the summer. It would been a much more fitting release to premiere now and unfold over the run-up to Halloween. Then again, it did capture buzz like I said -- which few Apple TV+ shows do. But perhaps if you haven't tried Widow's Bay yourself, this would be the perfect time to start! I give the show a B+. If you liked The X-Files, but wish that that show's most iconic horror and comedy episodes were somehow swirled together in one? It'll be right up your alley.

Strange New Worlds: Off-Hour

Season four of Star Trek: Strange New Worlds continues with "Off-Hour."

A ship-wide crisis unfolds just as the Alpha crew is going off-duty. Separated all over the ship, they must find a way to escape a slipstream before Enterprise is destroyed. But first they must deal with an electrified bridge, a grisly Sickbay accident, gravity plating malfunctions, sensor failures, dangerous radiation, and more.

For several episodes now, Strange New Worlds has been swerving stylistically each week to push the limits of the stories that can be told on Star Trek. This week's tale is more "typical Star Trek" (indeed, you could compare it to The Next Generation's "Disaster") -- and so perhaps it will be more to the liking of people who haven't enjoyed the swings from horror movie to stoner comedy to film noir to puppet show.

Still, the episode was definitely borrowing visuals from somewhere else. There was no terrorist threat, but this episode was still a clear homage to 24: unfolding in real time, reminding us of the ticking clock, and using plenty of split screen. After four weeks of more elaborate and complete "tributes," I found this sort of surface level mimicry to be somewhat less satisfying.

Yet I wouldn't say the choice to "do 24" added nothing. As I mentioned, this kind of story has been done before on The Next Generation. But on top of several quite different plot elements, "Off-Hour" further differentiates itself with the real-time aspect. Putting the clock on screen might have felt a touch gimmicky, but the sense of urgency was stronger for it.

This episode also felt dangerous. This being a prequel, you can of course know which characters aren't actually able to die here. But from electrical burns to crushed mid-sections to broken legs to extreme irradiation to snapped-off fingers, everything felt life-threatening. And not just because of the grisly makeup and stagecraft to provoke a visceral reaction; even Spock's long crawl along the outer hull felt intense.

It was a strong episode for both Scotty and Chapel, and I thought the pacing did a good job including personal talk between characters without triggering any "why are you stopping to have this conversation right now?!" response in the audience. I particularly enjoyed smaller exchanges between Scotty and A'Sha, Una and La'An, and of course Chapel and M'Benga. But I probably should have watched with the subtitles on. Martin Quinn's real Scottish accent is harder to understand when he's animated than James Doohan's fake one (a fact the episode explicitly joked about.) Babs Olusanmokun's typically soft whisper was softer still thanks to M'Benga's injury. And Carol Kane seems to go broader with every appearance as Pelia.

Some fun nuggets for long-time Trekkers included the slipstream itself being evocative of the wormhole sequence from Star Trek: The Motion Picture, and the "pod jettison" plot point being lifted from the classic "Court Martial." Plus, of course, there was the return of original ship's doctor Boyce -- who I don't think added much here, but is presumably going to be around for multiple episodes and as part of some larger plan.

Overall, I thought "Off-Hour" was a well-executed thrill ride that balanced tension and character well. I give it a B+.

Strange New Worlds: Level-Five Transporter Accident

For quite a while now, fans of Star Trek: Strange New Worlds have known that a "puppet episode" was coming. Those who haven't liked the eclectic genre hopping of season four have no doubt been dreading its arrival. Those who have been more into it (a subset of whom perhaps fondly remember when Buffy the Vampire Slayer spin-off Angel did its own "puppet episode") have no doubt been more optimistic. In any case, the wait is over; this last week brought us "Level-Five Transporter Accident."

Scotty attempts to break the distance record for a transport, using a childhood puppet as the test subject. But then an accident transports the entire crew, fuses them with the toy in the pattern buffer, and returns them all as puppets. Only Spock, who was alone on a nearby shuttle, is unaffected. Before the crew can solve their problem, Orion pirates attack and seize control of Enterprise. Can the puppet crew regain their ship and their original forms?

There was plenty about this episode that I loved, and quite a bit I found disappointing. Two past episodes of Star Trek loomed large in sifting those two categories. One was a Strange New Worlds episode from season two, "Subspace Rhapsody." I loved that episode, in spite of (or maybe because of) the big swing. The writers made some effort to explain away the absurd premise in Star Trek terms, then just ran with it. It worked. So did the only slightly less absurd cartoon crossover, Freaky Friday, and "Spock becomes human" episodes. I think one of the big reasons was, they just went for it!

I'm spoiling the end of the "puppet episode" here... but this time, they didn't go for it. Instead, they went for an "it was all a dream" cop out. Is that supposed to make people happy who weren't on board with the puppets? They didn't even fully embrace the cop out. If this was all Spock's dream, then it should follow that we see nothing he isn't present for. (But we get several scenes without him.)

The other episode that looms large for me is the one that "Level-Five Transporter Accident" is pretty much straight-up remaking: Star Trek: The Next Generation's "Rascals." A transporter accident does something unthinkable to the characters, something so wild and outside the box that a chunk of the audience is going to just reject the idea outright. In this compromised and distracted state, an enemy you wouldn't normally have to take seriously is able to gain control of the Enterprise. Then, the victims of the transporter accident must learn to embrace what's happened to them to overcome the invaders.

That last bit is crucial to the episode, the thing that keeps it from being a total lark and that makes me like "Rascals" more (a lot more) than I think the average Trek fan does: the affected characters actually learn something from their experience. In "Accident," not only does "it's all a dream" rob us of the growth for every character but the dreamer, the script doesn't have an arc for them. Right away, the puppet characters are cowering behind consoles, engaging in Three Stoogery, and generally acting out of character. That's good for laughs, but it totally undermines the eventual revelation that they must start acting like puppets to get out of this situation; they've been doing that the entire time.

Now, if you wall off all those serious considerations (which the episode itself clearly wanted to do), I have to admit... it was entertaining. More of the jokes worked for me than didn't -- and not just when it came to the puppets. (For example, I loved casting Brooklyn Nine-Nine's Joe Lo Truglio as an affable Orion pirate.) You'd probably think from reading the above that I "harrumphed" my way through this episode... when in fact the opposite was true. I smiled often, laughed occasionally, and generally enjoyed it.

And of course, a large part of the reason why was that the puppetry was pretty great. Fantastic design from The Jim Henson Company captured the essence of each character in felt form. Amped-up vocal performances from the cast tapped into the unhinged vibe. The puppeteers did fantastic work. And Ethan Peck excelled as this Muppet Show's human "guest star."

So yeah, I did rather like this episode. I just didn't like that it didn't go all-in on what it set out to be, and was a bit disappointed that what it set out to be was "Rascals" remade. I give "Level-Five Transporter Accident" a B. I imagine that might be a rare lukewarm opinion between more prevailing white-hot and ice-cold takes, but there you have it.

8 Is Enough

I use an app to keep an actual list of movies I'd like to watch. Sometimes I add movies that are out in theaters, so that in case I don't make it, I'll be able to catch up on streaming. Sometimes I add an interesting-sounding movie I hear mentioned on a podcast. Just friendly reminders to myself for later. For these reasons (among many others), I've ended up with a list that includes a lot of movies that I can't remember putting there.

This is how I found Exit 8 on my list. And it's an especially eclectic entry. It's a Japanese movie. (So right there, I'd say the odds are I heard about it on a film podcast.) It's based on a video game. (Which I'd never heard of; but with countless games available for instant download across dozens of platforms, that's no great surprise.) But it had an intriguing premise I felt I just had to see.

A young man gets off the subway and soon finds himself lost and alone in an underground tunnel. It actually appears to be the same underground tunnel, as he keeps walking and taking the same turns only to find himself passing the same features. Then he notices a sign outlining simple rules: he begins at "Exit 0" and can only leave through "Exit 8." To reach it, he must be observant. If he arrives in a corridor and finds any "anomalies," he must turn around and walk the other direction. If there are none, he must continue ahead. The man feels hope as he soon finds his way to "Exit 1".... and that hope is dashed not long after when he finds himself back at "Exit 0." Can he make the right choices enough times in a row to escape?

When I re-read the short description of the movie, I remembered why I'd put it on the list (if not when). It seemed like a ripe premise for a psychological horror film. And I kind of had to know if the filmmakers could possibly sustain the idea. How does what I just described last for a whole movie -- even one that's only 95 minutes long?

Director Genki Kawamura, working with a script by him and Kentaro Hirase, does actually manage to pull it off. I'd really rather not spoil any surprises, but suffice it say that I never felt the movie reached a point of stagnation. Before I would ever begin to wonder "this isn't really all the movie is going to be, is it?", it would expand the story. Through a clever combination of "twists," character motivations, and effectively creepy imagery, the movie kept me with it the entire way.

It has a couple of other elements helping it along. One is some very smart camera work. There's a lot of very horror-savvy placement of the camera. And while the movie doesn't try to present itself as a single take for the entire duration, there are plenty of great tricks to hide edits. Sure, there also a few obviously CG-assisted moments with ambition too great for the movie's budget, but I don't feel they really detract from the whole.

Another key asset is the movie's main star, Kazunari Ninomiya, who gives a good performance as The Lost Man. There is a very limited cast in this movie, and Ninomiya really has to do some heavy lifting. Working without a scene partner. Believably talking to yourself. Two of the tougher challenges in acting, and he handles them both.

My one reservation -- I'm not quite sure the movie sticks the landing. As I say that, I must also acknowledge that this is just one of those story premises that probably can't have a satisfying ending. The idea is more compelling than the resolution. Seeing whether they can keep the ride going is more exciting than the ride coming to an end. Exit 8 doesn't have a "bad" ending, but if you're going to watch it because you're intrigued by anything I've described here, please don't watch it to see how it ends.

I'd give Exit 8 a B+. Perhaps the real enthusiasts -- of either horror movies or foreign films -- are already aware of it. But for most of you, perhaps I'm putting something on your radar you've never heard of.