Friday, October 30, 2009

Grin and Ferret

Here's another one of those news stories from the web with a high laugh factor for its short word count: Jacksonville Beach shoplifter stuffs ferret down his pants.

Right in the first sentence, the journalist says this "may be a first" for Jacksonville Beach. I wouldn't think the research on "shoplifter with ferret in pants" would be that hard. Just go out on a limb and say it's a first! Even if you're wrong, then you get a fun letter to the editor later on: "I take exception to Caren Burmeister's article on October 28th. I too have stuffed a ferret in my pants..."

"Supermarket" is misspelled "Supermarkert." Spell checking doesn't rate any higher than fact checking.

"...the man shoved the ferret in the teen's face squeezing it." Punctuation rates no better than spell or fact checking.

The culprit was charged with "battery using a special weapon." Crazed ferret is a special weapon indeed. My next RPG character must have one!

And then the last sentence: "The ferret, which sells for $129, was not injured." Is it important that we know what the ferret costs? What a random closer!

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