It's an annual tradition: me and some snarky friends quipping about the Oscar broadcast. This year, there was a lot of text messaging involved, but we found a way...
It feels like they're having the Oscars in just some cafe somewhere.
I feel bad for the people who are sitting where the blinding sunlight is streaming in through the window.
If you're Zooming in your acceptance speech, it's easy to play you off when you run long.
You could have just gone with Regina King as the host; she was great.
Laura Dern has been styled as an ostrich.
Is Sacha Baron Cohen really in Sydney, or just in front of a green screen in a basement?
These Oscar-shade table lamps feel like they'll be in a thrift store a week from now.
I didn't think "your parents having sex" needed to be on the list of things you shouldn't mention in your Oscar speech, but let's put it on the list now.
They'll be selling WWWHD bracelets now. (What would Werner Herzog do?)
Presenting Best Director so early in the show really deflates any tension over Best Picture.
So is The Eternals the first Marvel movie directed by an Oscar-winning director?
Was there a black tux/black shirt memo?
What if a dress were an upside-down plaid chef's hat?
"In the 30 years since Terminator 2." I just aged like I drank from a false grail.
I'd say no one but Oscar voters seem to have seen News of the World... except that judging by the movie losing every category, Oscar voters didn't see it either.
Mank wins Production Design and Cinematography. Making movies in color is for suckers.
Is Blade Runner the best movie to set up for the Best Editing award when that movie was re-cut like 12 times -- and the original theatrical version is almost universally considered the worst?
Why is the Eye of Sauron pulsing behind people as they accept their awards?
Everyone else give up. Viola Davis has the best dress.
Stephen Colbert may be losing his band leader.
I was getting tired of this "Oscar music trivia" bit... and then Glenn Close did Da Butt. She lost another Oscar, but maybe she can win an Emmy.
Angela Bassett is wearing floaties for the after-show pool party.
The award for best editing will NOT go to the hyperactive editor of this year's Memorium montage.
Are they doing Best Picture early because they know Chadwick Boseman is winning and they want his award to be last?
Uh... wow. Apparently not.
I mean, Anthony Hopkins wasn't expecting it either. He was awake earlier on the Zoom call from the U.K., but it was like 4am there and he went to bed.
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