Sunday, January 11, 2009

And the Award Goes To...

So, 24 premiere and Golden Globes in one night? Yikes!

The night starts off strong with Kate Winslet winning something at last. But what the hell is with that little rectangular strip rising off the center of her dress? It's like a built-in censoring bar for her cleavage. Especially in the close-up camera angles.

So, did they just dress up some homeless looking guy who said he was Sting? What the hell is with the Grizzly Adams beard?

Eva Mendes' dressmaker apparently gets paid more the more fabric gets used. There's no other explanation for the gym towel looking wad hanging off her waist.

So, the official "this person isn't here tonight" camera is placed downstage right, showing the audience and a profile of the presenters.

Ricky Gervais proves his awesomeness (and subtlely referencing his show Extras) by reminding Kate Winslet that he told her Holocaust movies were the way to awards.

Johnny Depp gets paid huge sums of money to stand on marks on the floor. Could he please just hold still for one minute?

Jake Gyllenhaal -- can we get another take? This time with even less emotion?

Drew Barrymore looks like she rode to the ceremony in a convertible with the top down. And she and Jessica Lange are both behaving like they did something naughty together in the bathroom before they came out on stage.

Okay, I'm having a Scrooged moment here. You can see Demi Moore's nipples. She needs Kate Winslet's dress.

Heath Ledger wins, and Christopher Nolan gives a brief but terrific speech.

When Aaron Eckhart says "in her twilight years," Susan Sarandon has just a half-second flash of "hey, you bastard!" on her face.

The writer of Slumdog Millionaire gives a boring, near-Biblical "so-and-so begat so-and-so" kind of acceptance speech. Seeing as how I wasn't all that impressed with his movie, I shouldn't be surprised.

From the expressions on the faces of the Ernst & Young accountants, I'm not sure if they won the office pool and got to be on the show, or if they lost the office pool and had to be on the show.

Renee Zellweger looks so stretched out and squinty, my friends and I thought for a half a second that she was Sharon Stone.

Was anything nominated this year that Ralph Fiennes didn't appear in?

Kudos to Alec Baldwin for prodding drunken Tracy Morgan to thank the president of the network that their show -- and the awards show itself -- airs on.

Tina Fey gives a great, funny speech. Once again, I see evidence that I stopped watching 30 Rock exactly one episode before it started getting brilliant. (That was about four episodes into season one, by the way.)

I'm surprised Steven Spielberg hasn't already been given this award.

Clearly, Colin Farrell didn't expect to win. He's visibly shaking, and seems unable to not say every random thought popping into his head.

But even more "not expecting to win" is Kate Winslet, for the second time. Good for her. (I need to get out and see these two movies, I suppose.)

I understand it's been 20 years since anyone could have reasonably expected Mickey Rourke to be standing on a stage accepting an award. But if they don't cut him off soon, he'll be there another 20 years.

The folks in the booth aren't quick enough to cut away from Darren Aronofsky playfully giving Rourke the finger. You suppose this will be the latest "Nipplegate-esque" outrage?

Slumdog Millionaire, best picture drama? Really? I'm disappointed in you, Hollywood Foreign Press. To not even nominate Doubt, for starters! How can it, by your own acknowledgement, have one of the top five screenplays and four nominated actors in it and not be worthy of consideration?

And frankly, of the nominated films I have seen so far, Slumdog Millionaire is certainly the least of the lot. I reiterate my earlier review. Save for the setting, this is an incredibly conventional love story of a type we've all seen too many times before.

Here's hoping for Oscar to do a better job next month.

No comments: