Outrageous Fortunes 3

Several months ago, a co-worker (who sometimes styles himself as a "rich friend I know") discovered a "new" (to us) Chinese restaurant near work. Great place. Chinese food for lunch instantly changed from a once a month thing to a once a week thing. Unless you count all the Panda Express we were getting before. I don't.

With all those new fortune cookies coming my way, you'd think it wouldn't have taken so long to come across another worthy entry in my Outrageous Fortunes series of posts. But the day finally came yesterday when I opened this perplexing gem:


Bear in mind that every other fortune at the table was in English -- just like every other fortune every one of our lunch crowd has received at every lunch we've had at this place. What the hell?

That's to the internet, I did at least discover this was an actual fortune -- a prediction of the future -- as opposed to those obnoxious "proverb cookies," "flattery cookies," or "advice cookies" you more frequently get:

"Good news from a highly anticipated event will come soon."

Okay, I'm waiting.