Another movie/TV awards ceremony, another chance to sit with my catty, witty friends and comment. (Not that we could really compete with Ricky Gervais.)
"So, where was I?" Awesome opening line.
After playing so many wild characters, Johnny Depp has become a character himself. What is this accent he's doing?
Christopher Plummer... just brush your right sleeve off there. Please? No? Well, you'll get another chance when you win the Oscar for this role in a few weeks.
Laura Dern's dress does work, even though it has a bit of a "bottom of the aquarium" thing going on.
Liquid gooooooooooold!
Standing next to Julianne Moore, Rob Lowe looks like George Hamilton. Seriously, you could just hand him out as an award statue -- he's gold enough.
The top of Kate Winslet's dress is a mess. It looks like she's Hulking out of it.
Jeremy Irons seems to be trying to win a Golden Globe. He's totally feeling up the woman from the Hollywood Foreign Press Association.
I guess Homeland wasn't expected to win. They couldn't have been seated farther from the stage.
I would certainly think the score for the silent movie would win Best Score. (Though I've heard there was some controversy about him lifting material from other films?)
Madonna is wearing chain mail, garbage bags, and a weight lifting glove?
Seth Rogen has practically stopped the show.
Is Michelle Williams going to go work out after the show? What's with the leopard print and the headband?
Peter Dinklage makes up for his oversight at the Emmys last year and starts by thanking George R.R. Martin. Good. I guess Tyrion gets to survive now.
I see George Clooney and Brad Pitt worked out a mutual admiration society meeting... "you introduce my movie, I'll introduce yours."
Though everyone in my group likes Nicole Kidman's dress, it invited comments such as: 1) she looks like a steampunk superhero; 2) sandworms are eating her boobs; and 3) her dress is playing Pac-man.
Applause to Felicity Huffman and William H. Macy's musical introduction.
Jessica Lange came dressed crazier than her character on American Horror Story.
Julianna Margulies' hair is pulled so tight, it seems to actually be stretching her eyes.
Matt LeBlanc wins an award... meanwhile, Courtney Cox can't even get a nomination. Injustice.
Bradley Cooper came as Errol Flynn.
Wind tunnel hair is in this year.
I did not know that Morgan Freeman loves to take a bath in a casket.
Is Ben Kingsley getting a hand job during the show???!!!???
Angelina Jolie has come dressed for a Robert Palmer music video.
Salma Hayek has come as the robot from Metropolis.
Modern Family would have been my pick for Best TV Comedy too. And they gave an acceptance speech worthy of it.
The side of Michelle Pfeiffer's dress ended up in the front.
David Bowie was nominated for Best Actress? (Oh wait, it's Tilda Swinton.)
Why won't David Fincher just go up there and give Meryl Streep her glasses? Is this retribution for Rooney Mara not winning?
I suppose Jane Fonda of all people is allowed to look like she's in a workout outfit.
Did Natalie Portman forget to take the hanger out of her dress?
The Descendants??? Whaaaaaaat? Cue the critics babbling about how the HFPA is just weird, and that this doesn't mess up their Oscar predictions at all.
"We've been told to hurry up." So I'm going to speak as slowly aaaas poooosible.
1 comment:
The show was fun to watch, but I'm just fucking (yeah, FUCKING) sick of tape delays and bleeping any word that's not straight out of the Chicago Manual of Style.
I mean, come on, people. They bleeped entire paragraphs of text just to make sure... There was no way to tell what the hell Gervais was saying at some point.
You'd think the entire country was on the verge of collapse because of "language."
FKL
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