Sunday, March 12, 2006

Give Me Libertine, and Give Me Depp

After our horrible experience in the hills (the ones with the eyes), my friends and I decided we had to rush out to see another movie as soon as possible, to try to erase the foul taste in our mouths.

So last night, I went to see The Libertine. Starring Johnny Depp and John Malkovich, this is a strange bit of... well... I'm not sure I know, even having seen it. I'm not sure what the "point" of the movie was really supposed to be. I can't even really find the words to describe how I felt about the movie. Not quite bored, not exactly. Confused? Well, sort of.

Actually, one of Eddie Izzard's bits from his Dress to Kill stand-up concert describes the feeling perfectly. The Libertine was 90 minutes of "arranging matches." And I sat there, my hand full of popcorn, halfway frozen between the bucket and my open mouth, for the entire movie.

It wasn't bad. It wasn't good. It wasn't boring. It wasn't especially illuminating. It was just sort of "I think I'd better go." "Yes, I think you better had."

At the top of the movie, Depp's character delivers a monologue in which he promises we the audience "are not going to like him." Well, he got that part right. I give the film a C-, or in other words, just south of indifference.

Now I think I need to hunt down a movie with "space monkeys" attacking, just to make my head stop hurting.

1 comment:

TheGirard said...

That was probably the best movie review EVAR!!!!

I think I need to see it now to enjoy the experience of ...leftanent sabastian.