The Cadillac of Poker

Sunday night, after a delayed airplane flight, I returned from Las Vegas a winner -- both in the sense that I had a great time (which was the main thing I was looking to get), and that I was up a bit in the money from the time I spent at the casino.

Most of that was at the poker table. The last time I visited Las Vegas was around eight years ago, before I really starting playing and following poker. So this was the first time I'd ever actually played poker in any of the Vegas casinos. I hit most of the big ones -- and one decidedly "not big" one.

First was the Tropicana. I went there my first night in Vegas, just because it was close to where I was staying. Their poker room was only about five tables, and only two of those were in play when I arrived. (Though there are some casinos in Vegas that have no poker room at all, such as New York New York, so I suppose it could be worse.) The only game they were running was a $1-$2 No Limit Hold 'Em game. I hadn't had any intention of playing a No Limit game, but that's the one I found that first night, so in I went. And I was doing well for a time. But then came the no-win scenario:

I'm dealt pocket Kings, and make a big raise. I'm called by only one player, who had limped in before me pre-flop. The flop comes. Three different suits, nothing higher than a Jack. My opponent bets into me. I go all in. I'm instantly called. You probably know where this story is going -- pocket Aces. And an Ace came on the turn, just for good measure. That was the end of the No Limit story that should never have happened to begin with.

Day two was Caesar's Palace. A curious environment. On the one hand, spacious and upscale in appearance. On the other, they seemed to be the only casino on the strip "slumming it" (in my opinion) with a bad beat jackpot drop. But on this occasion, I was waiting while my sisters took in a show at Caesar's, so I decided to stay there and play it out. No major hands to speak of. I was close to even when my time was up.

Day three, The Mirage. Nice place. Cold cards. Frigid. By the time I finally got some hands worth playing, I'd actually been recognized as a tight player, even at a low limit table -- which, folks, is pretty hard to do. Everyone was folding to any raise from me, but the good hands were still few and far between. I'd opened things up to raising just on any Ace, regardless of table position. Completely ridiculous behavior. But nobody would even take a flop with me. Before I could ever learn whether any kind of equilibrium could be established, it was time for me to pick up and head to a show we had tickets for.

Day four, Bellagio. Really nice place. And a really drunk trio of people from Seattle who sat at my table the entire time, buying in for $100 after $100, and losing it all. I spent four happy hours there, making up for all my poker losses thus far, not to mention a few $20s dropped for fun on a craps table the night before. My only complaint was about the Bellagio poker chips. They must have recently changed them or something, because the paint was coming off them something awful. I happened to notice after a few deals that the dealer's palms were so covered, he could have been strangling Smurfs during his breaks. By the end of the session, my fingertips were so covered, I had to constantly remind myself not to scratch my face unless I wanted to audition for the Blue Man Group.

The final day, MGM Grand. For some reason, they want to be different from all the other kids, and their poker tables have a thick marble border surrounding the felt playing area. A little awkward, but worth living with, since I won again there.

For all the coverage Texas Hold 'Em gets on television these days, it's remarkable how many people you'll find in a casino are still really bad at it.