The pillows used in hotel room beds are an absolute masterpiece of diabolically evil engineering. It doesn't matter how nice the hotel is, or how comfortable the bed itself might be -- the pillows are always infuriatingly useless.
They look all fluffy and plump sitting there under the cover, but the moment one comes into contact with a human head, all the feathers in them seem to retract to half their size like George Costanza coming out of a pool in the Hamptons. You can try all you want to squeeze and crush the thing at both ends, but the minute you move your hands... in you sink.
Then the real engineering kicks in. Try to fold the thing over in half and lay your head on top of that, and those same feathers that moments ago displayed no resiliency suddenly toughen up. The pillow starts pushing back against your face, forcing you off, striving to return to its normal, useless shape.
But last is the true evil. Try to stack two hotel pillows on top of one another and what do you get? The sensation that your head has been wrenched about three feet up from the rest of your body. Yes, hotel pillows seem to have found a perfect "unsweet spot" at about 2/3rds the thickness of a reasonable pillow. One is useless, but two is worth one-and-a-third normal pillows, and that's no good either.
No matter what "solution" you try, you wake up the next morning with a stiff neck and feel generally out of sorts in a way that's never fully set right again until you're back home in your own bed.
I don't think a worse pillow could be created if someone tried.
9 comments:
That's frelling hilarious. It seems that I've always been the only one that's been uncomfortable with hotel pillows - truly diabolical...
OMG that's exactly true! I don't even travel all that much but every time I go those darn useless pillows are everywhere! lol!
I've tried, with limited success, to fold an extra blanket under the pillow to give it enough support. I can get a good depth, but it winds up a bit stiff. so you might want to try that next time?
the mole
Yes! Someone else who understands the diabolical nature of hotel pillows! I have the exact same experience every time.
I've come to use a towel underneath the pillow, folded over as many times as I have to to get proper thickness. I can usually get it to approach comfort. And in the morning, I use the same towel when I get out of the shower.
Here's where I admit that I usually take my own pillow to a hotel! Always when I drive, but if there's room I put it in my checked luggage.
Great analysis!
Jared
I couldn't find your email address, so I'm contacting you ghetto-y.
http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/guitar_hero.jpg
"And in the morning, I use the same towel when I get out of the shower."
Jason, I really thought I was about to read "And in the morning, I use the same towel to wipe my ass."
I don't know, it just sounded like you. :)
(Now if your last name doesn't start with a W, you're not *my* Jason and I'm screwed.)
FKL
Thanks for the towel suggestion. It's turned out I'm going to have a chance to test that out very soon.
"And in the morning, I use the same towel when I get out of the shower."
Jason, I really thought I was about to read "And in the morning, I use the same towel to wipe my ass."
I don't know, it just sounded like you. :)
(Now if your last name doesn't start with a W, you're not *my* Jason and I'm screwed.)
No, I use a different towel for that.
- Jason W.
- Jason W.
Phew.
FKL
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