Soap Duds

No. No, no, no, no, no! Bad Hollywood! Bad! Someone has gotten in into their damaged head that it would be a good idea to remake the movie Soapdish.

I've probably espoused my theory on remakes here before: they're okay, so long as you're remaking a movie that was average the first time around. Truly bad movies should not be remade, my thinking being that there wasn't anything worthwhile there to be salvaging. And natually, great movies should not be remade, because they were great movies. What's to improve?

Soapdish falls squarely in the "great movie" category. Alright, so maybe it hit me a bit more squarely than it might hit some, since I'm into the "behind the scenes" of making entertainment, and I was addicted to a soap opera for a period of time. (Well, a prime time, weekly soap anyway: Dallas.) But really, it's just such a damn funny movie, with a near endless list of quotable lines. It even has a great soundtrack from Alan Silvestri.

But perhaps most importantly, it has a killer cast. Sally Field, Kevin Kline, Elizabeth Shue, Robert Downey Jr., Whoopi Goldberg, Cathy Moriarty, Teri Hatcher, Carrie Fisher... and each of them is perfect for their role. You might... might capture lightning in a bottle a second time and find a current big name to bring the funny to some soap opera insanity. Could you find two? Five? Eight? I say there's simply no way.

I'll confess, some extra salt in the wound here comes from the realization that Soapdish is now a 20 year old movie -- old enough to come under the remake cross hairs. And yes, that makes me feel quite a bit older. But still, the main point is: you can't improve upon perfection.

As a footnote, I think it's fairly obvious here that I'm saying if you actually haven't seen Soapdish, you should do so with all haste. It's awesome.