How time flies... but it's been six months since my "fun" (not fun) epic wisdom tooth extraction. Time for the regular six-month cleaning.
The woman who cleaned my teeth was nice enough. She gave me the expected lines about good brushing and flossing, "do you drink soda? you shouldn't," and so forth. But she also was saying how generally great things were looking.
Well, you can't get off with "looks great" from the dentist, so while I've got a sharp metal scraping thingie dancing around my mouth, she whips out with this:
"So, you have these two teeth where the gums have receded a bit..."
Yeah, I'm thinking... I have noticed. Been that way for years. Every once in a long while, I suppose, something cold makes them hurt a bit. But whatever. Lots of people have greater sensitivity to cold food and drink than I ever have. Where is she going with this?
"There's this procedure that you could consider having done."
Oh, here we go. What is this going to be? I braced myself. But I could not imagine this.
"They can take a tissue graft off of your palate, and use it to cover the exposure at the base of the teeth."
What?! You want me to consider having the roof of my mouth scraped off and stuck to my teeth?
"The truth is, though, there is some pain associated with the taking of the tissue sample, so another option you can go with is to have a tissue sample taken from a cadaver. That avoids the discomfort of the procedure."
Wait, you want me to consider having the roof of a dead guy's mouth scraped off and stuck my teeth? Because that's not discomforting?
The whole thing smacked of, "let's sell you the perfect mouth," and was creepy and weird to boot.
I think I mustered something like "uh-huh." Which I meant to sound something like "thanks, but I don't think so," but I suspect the subtext came across pretty clearly as, "are you completely mental?!"
7 comments:
I think that's what I had done (not the one with the dead guy). They called it a Periodontal Graft. They took it from the roof of my mouth. I don't remember it being painful though.
Jared
I think I'd much rather put up with the sensitive roots. Especially if the alternative was the cadaver graft. Yuck!
cadaver?! gross!!
if you get a graft off of a dead evil guy, will you start biting people??
the mole
Isn't that how zombie plagues start?
DUDE. Zombie mouth.
Dr. Heimlich, I think I'd have to make sure that my zombie plan did not include you in any way if you had that done with the cadaver thing.
One, because ew.
Two, because I've seen horror movies and no good can come from that.
Three, did I mention ew?
Four, bad zombie.
Can you imagine kissing someone with that?
"Honey, did you brush your teeth? Your breath stinks."
"No, my mouth ALWAYS smells of death."
I think I'd stick with the occasionally aching teeth, thanks.
EW.
Actually had that procedure done 20+ years ago at a military dental clinic (my dad was in the army). It wasn't too painful. They didn't give me the zombie option - that would've been cool as a 9-year-old...
BTW - been reading you for 2+ years - love the blog.
Thanks for the kind words. I'm glad you've had fun here.
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