What's the least patience you've ever shown a book? I'm betting I've got your personal record beat -- I just gave up on a book after four pages.A couple months ago, I went to a night of staged readings of suspense short stories. As I mentioned then, I liked four of the five. The one I found lacking happened to be the one written by a Denver local author, Manuel Ramos. To further pimp his writing at the performance, they gave out a free copy of his book, Moony's Road to Hell, to everyone who attended.
Free book, right? And give the small guy a chance, right? After all, I or someone I know could be that poor tiny guy trying to get people to read a book some day, right?
I finally sat down to read it, though, and I instantly knew that what I'd disliked that night at the theater was no mere fluke. In fact, the short story I saw at the theater must have been this writer's "A game," because this was just terrible. It was stilted and cliche, too self-aware of the genre it was trying to ape, and instantly off-putting.
This really relates my back to my question: when is it easiest to walk out of a movie? With this book, I had no investment whatsoever. It didn't cost me a penny. No one had recommended it to me. There was no reason to try to pull through one more page if I wasn't feeling it.
So, after the first Dan Brown-esque length four-page chapter, I gave up. Even this atrocious Piers Anthony book I once read, I gave three chapters. (I'm drifting off subject here, but Piers Anthony mentioned in the foreword of that book that he wrote it in something like three weeks. And man did it show. But I majorly digress....)
As I was looking online for a photo of the book to illustrate this post, I couldn't help but notice that, though only three reviews had been posted at Amazon.com, they were all glowing, five star raves. And for half a second, I thought, "well hell, it looks like a short book. And be honest with yourself, you didn't really give it a fair chance. Maybe you should start reading it again."
Then I noticed that all three reviews were written by the same person. Two of the three were even identical reviews, word for word. And it seems like they were written by the author's editor. So, props to the editor for trying to push the book... but we're going to have to take a deduction for not making any attempt at subtlety.
The next new author, I'll give a fairer chance, I promise.
4 comments:
Wow, that's got me beat. My personal record is The Gunslinger (try not to hate me Roland). Tried 3 times to read that one, once quitting about a third of the way.
I never did actually read the damned thing, ended up resorting to listening to it on audio tape, it was better than the radio.
Silly monkeydiver... he said the LEAST amount of patience you've ever shown a book. Three attempts, one of which a third of the way thru what I am led to believe is a sizable book is quite a LOT of patience. Hmmm... of course this is coming from one of the least patient humans on the planet, so what do I know.
I purchased a 200-300 page paperback for a flight once and decided I was better off staring at the back of the seat in front of me after about 100 pages... I think that's about my record.
I can't hate ya for that, SangeDiver - the first DT book is by far the most painful one of the series. I don't recommend it to anyone - I tell everyone to start on the 2nd book and read the preface. :P
Dr, I ALSO tried to read this book and had about the same reaction. I got through about 2 chapters though. I've read other books by local authors who set their story in Denver and it was handled adeptly and without being in your face about it...you know, like a GOOD author. Ramos though...oy.
He dumps in references to places, streets, local political and activist groups like he's a network executive being paid by the mention for in show advertisement. Almost to the point of sentences being "The man walked past the Democratic Party Headquarters at 6th and Santa Fe and stared at the signs in the window, wondering if he should head up to Chubby's just past the art district.
He writes in a way that shows off how in the know he is about his locale and to show you how you aren't. It's condescending and irritating and I won't give the guy another chance either.
(Glad to know I wasn't the only one with that reaction, Dr.!)
Four pages?! Wow. I wish I were that wise. It took me 600 pages of Neal "Poser" Stephenson's Cryptonomicon to finally come to the conclusion that I hated his stuff.
Yet I can still claim I quit early: I still had over 600 more pages to go!
FKL
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