The Truth is Out There -- Way, WAY Out There

I probably shouldn't oversell the following post by telling you that it's been over a year-and-a-half in the making. It's not going to live up to that. But the facts are these...

I have on occasion mentioned my friend who works in a book store. Sometime between a year and two ago, she had a letter delivered to "the manager." It was from this crazy-weirdo-conspiracy theorist that had given a copy of the letter to every place all up and down the mall.

Most people probably just threw the thing away, but my friend read it, and I'm glad she did, because a bunch of us got a lot of entertainment value out of it. It's been sitting here on my desk all this time, waiting for me to take a moment to scan it in and post it here, but I've just been too lazy for it. But now, faced with the prospect of actually packing it and moving it along with the rest of stuff, it's time to throw the thing away.

After preserving it here, of course.

Perhaps it's not quite right for me to laugh at this. We kind of got the barest hint that maybe this guy had actually witnessed some horrible event in his past that broke something loose in his head and sent him down this crazy conspiracy road. Maybe. Maybe I'm just trying to tell myself I'm a less horrible person for laughing at it.

Now that I've built it up more than anything could possibly deliver on, take a look:




I mean, there are just so many turns of phrase in this thing that blow my mind!

"It began as a simple sex club..." Anyone know where to enroll?

"...but quickly degenerated into... white slavery..." Because, you know, one inevitably follows the other.

"By allowing gang members from Aryan Nations, Queer Nations, National Organization of Women..." Three groups that historically co-mingle so well.

"...and various lesser witches covens..." Implying the above three organizations are all greater witches covens.

"...such as Red Brigades, Mossad, Al Qaeda, the religious right..." More matches made in heaven.

"...and pedophilia which is child's play..." I can't tell if that's an earnest explanation, an unintended double entendre, or something else entirely.

"...they really do profess to want people to accept demonic possession, but as you might know... the real scam is a pyramid life insurance scam." You! Accept Satan into you soul! Now, buy life insurance!!!

Well, I mean wow... that's not even a quarter of the letter. I'm left pretty speechless as it goes on to weave a conspiracy of gangs, life insurance, Federal bonds, Echelon, remote viewing, the local phone company, television, Houston bicycle cops, and now-presidential-candidate John McCain. And this has been going on since the 1890s, folks!

I truly hope if this kind of dementia ever happens to someone I know, they're able to get help early on.