Annual Oscar Snark

Interesting, the band gets to be on stage this year instead of down in a hole like usual.

Gotta love Robert Downey Jr. clapping for himself.

Okay, the opening number was great. The whole "made in my garage" motif was hysterical. (Particularly the Benjamin Button segment.)

Is Tilda Swinton wearing a toga?

Penelope Cruz breaks into Spanish, and the guy on the "tape delay censorship" button doesn't know what to do.

Tina Fey and Steve Martin are awesome. But I'm not supposed to fall in love with him.

The winners of the writing awards always (as expected) have the best speeches. The writer of Milk is no exception this year.

And the Slumdog Millionaire locomotive leaves the station...

In the animated short category, a French film by Asian filmmakers? Interesting.

I'm so tired of seeing the Twilight couple. Buffy stakes Edward. The end.

Ben Stiller's riff on Joaquin Phoenix was awesome. But Philip Seymour Hoffman, in his weird stalker beanie, looks almost as weird.

As one of my friends noted, the Slumdog Millionaire cinematographer has "douche hair."

Another toga on Jessica Biel.

Another song and dance number? It seems this year's strategy is that the awards will be just as long as ever, but they'll be "doing more" during them.

They got Cuba Gooding Jr. to present. Cause he wasn't doing anything. (Other than flushing his career down the toilet.)

Check out the comically large ring on Angelina Jolie's finger.

What's with the Cro-Magnon teeth on that one documentary filmmaker?

The "Action movie" montage is a showcase of motion blur.

Are these the "Craig's List Dancers" again during the Best Original Song segment? Because they're not at all in synch with each other. Hugh Jackman asks, "How great were they?" Answer: not so much.

Clearly an upset in the Foreign Film category, since it seems like it takes the cameramen several seconds to even figure out where the winners are sitting.

Charlton Heston clearly loses in the "Memoriam Applause Contest."

Reese Witherspoon's eye makeup makes her look like a raccoon.

Danny Boyle thanks everyone in Mumbai that didn't help make the film too? Geez.

Every time they put one of the nominees in the little window, the Kung Fu Panda is very distractingly placed right below them.

Sophia Loren reminds me of the movie Brazil.

What's with Adrian Brody's hair? Is he playing Jesus in some movie right now?

At least Sean Penn realizes he's an asshole.

Truest statement of the night comes from the producer accepting Best Picture for Slumdog Millionaire. The screenplay inspired "mad love." I would certainly use the word "mad."

From the montage over the end credits, apparently there are two movies with Amelia Earhart coming this year. Spoiler alert: she dies.