A "Then and Now" Review

This past week, I saw both the original 1980 Friday the 13th (for the first time, believe it or not) and the new 2009 model.

Let's start with the original. I didn't expect much, and was warned to expect even less. I should have expected much, much less. Unlike the first Halloween, a classic which does at least somewhat hold up over time, Friday the 13th just seems like a mess. I suppose it earned some points in its time for being substantially more bloody than other horror films, and for its "twist ending."

But it really is a Halloween wannabe. It tries to set up the same model of a group of (supposed-to-be) teens menaced by an unyielding killer, but it misses some major points about what made Halloween good. To me, the biggest flaw of the movie is that you get two-thirds into it (and two-thirds of the way through the cast) before even one character realizes there's serious jeopardy at Camp Crystal Lake. It's one blindside after another for a full hour.

Halloween successfully builds tension because the characters feel tension. Laurie Strode has several strange run-ins with Michael Myers throughout the day before the blood starts to fly, enough to unsettle her. And Dr. Loomis knows something is horribly wrong from the moment Michael escpaes from the asylum. Their dread feeds the audience's dread. But in Friday the 13th, a half a dozen people are offed with no one the wiser, and there's absolutely no tension in the proceedings as a result.

Then there's that twist. I'm about to spoil it here, so if you've somehow miraculously made it this far without knowing what it is, skip the next two paragraphs -- right after you tell me where the cocoon is where you shut out the outside world.

It's simply impossible to believe that old Mrs. Vorhees could kill all those people. Sure, she surprises Kevin Bacon's character when he's lying in bed, but she bests two other "strapping young men" in situations where they could have and should have put up some struggle. And when we see her in a fight with the last surviving girl at the end of the movie, its rolling around on the lake shore in a fight so laughably cheesy it makes classic Star Trek look like The Matrix. This woman couldn't get the best of a three-year-old.

There is one genuinely good scare at the end of Friday the 13th, when the decaying Jason springs up out of the water to drag down the last survivor. But even this moment, they don't get right. The smart thing would have been to stop and roll credits right there. But instead, we smash cut to the survivor waking up in the hospital, distantly murmuring "he's still out there." It's a flat coda that undermines that big punchy finish.

I rate the original Friday the 13th a D-. It escapes the F solely on the basis of that one good scare, and for clearly being a foundational film in the slasher genre. But it's not like that genre was built on the back of a giant here.

So... the new installment. It's not a remake, as it turns out. It's actually a continuation in modern times, acknowledging that all the events of movie one actually happened. In fact, the final showdown from the original is re-enacted with Nana Visitor --that's Kira Nerys to you DS9 fans -- in a key role. Strange to see, let me tell you. But I absolutely believe she could do some damage.

This movie tries to put a minor wrinkle into Jason's mindless slashing and killing. I won't spoil it here, because it's as much of a plot surprise as a movie like this could aspire to offer. Suffice it to say that this doesn't elevate the movie to any lofty position, but does lift it above most modern horror fare.

The makers of this film fix the pacing problems of the original, and fix that major issue I complained of -- the lack of victims who know they're screwed. There are some blindsides here and there, as these movies must have, but in every major sequence, there's at least one character who knows there's trouble. A few even make it long enough to warn others and spread the panic.

And the movie actually ends the right way, too!

But, the truth is, there's nothing special here. There aren't any really new ideas here for death sequences that haven't been done in these movies before. The characters service the plot, but aren't really too spectacular. The movie gets the job done in a workman like way, without ever transcending the genre as movies like The Ring or The Thing do. (Maybe because it doesn't rhyme?)

I rate the new Friday the 13th a C+. Nothing really worth recommending, but a damn sight better than the original.