Thursday, October 30, 2008

When 221 Just Isn't Enough

I'm trying to continue the Halloween theme of the week, this time loosely, I admit. But it is a tale of a grisly murder, so there you go!

I was familiar with the Huffington Post before hearing about this story, but I had never heard of its political blogger Carol Anne Burger. Apparently, she commited suicide a few days after (police believe) committing a murder. She stabbed someone 222 times!

Holy crap!

Can a human body have 222 stab wounds in it and still in any way resemble a human body? Michael Myers couldn't put 222 stab wounds in a victim!

Can you imagine being the coroner having to perform that autopsy? "Wound #132 transects the collar bone 3.5 centimeters left of the spine, at a 35 degree angle. Wound #133..." (Okay, maybe I've watched too much CSI.)

3 comments:

Kathy said...

And OMG, it was a *philips* head screwdriver that was the weapon! Something about the philips shape (as opposed to a flat head, that looks more like a knife edge) tells me that those wounds had to be a) extra painful and b) extra difficult to identify in an autopsy.

(Or maybe I haven't watched *enough* CSI.)

Jason said...

"What have you got here, Rogers?"

"Well, sir, it looks like a dead body."

"I can see that, Rogers. How was she killed?"

"I'm not sure, sir. She's got 222 wounds and the weird thing is...well..."

"Spit it out, Rogers."

"Well, sir, all the wounds are shaped like a plus sign?"

"A plus sign?"

"That's right, sir. A plus sign."

"You know what this means, don't you, Rogers?"

"No, sir. What does it mean?"

"The Math Mangler. I thought I'd put him away years ago, but I was wrong. So terribly wrong."

Roland Deschain said...

Holy crap!

Someone's figured it out! The math mangler just might be Snarky Smurf!

Although in that case I'm sure part of me will be rotated through another dimension - possibly the 8th.

You heard it here first if I'm found dead. Avenge me, Sangediver!!