"It doesn't taste like coffee."
I'm hard-pressed to think of as big a full-of-shit statement as this. If you actually like the taste of coffee, that's your business. But be sure of this: it tastes like coffee!
Now me, I can't stand the taste of the vile swill. I avoid it whenever I can. But every once in a while, I fall for the trap. I'm really not sure why. Maybe I go so long without tasting it that I forget how unspeakably nasty it is. Naa... can't be that; just thinking about the taste now is giving me the shivers. Maybe I'm subconsciously thinking "millions of people can't be wrong." Naa... can't be that. I know damn well that millions of people are wrong all the time, on a frighteningly regular basis. Maybe I'm thinking "this friend of mine peddling their coffee concoction on me... they know how much I hate coffee... they surely wouldn't be lying to me, would they?"
But they are lying. Oh, I'm sure it's not malicious lying. It seems to me that people who drink coffee regularly soon lose all perspective on what coffee actually tastes like.
The last time I fell for the coffee scam was when someone suggested I might like the taste of one of those Starbucks Vanilla Frappuccino drinks."But I hate the taste of coffee," I said.
And then, of course, those magic words... "Oh, but it doesn't taste like coffee."
So I took a taste. And I thought I showed incredible restraint not spitting it back into the person's face. Sure, the thing was completely saturated with sugar and vanilla. Enough to take away the bitterness of the coffee. But not that awful taste.
This past week, I avoided falling into the coffee drink trap. As I was walking downtown at lunch, a PR guy was handing out free sample bottles of the new Coke Blak. Well, they may have taken that "C" out of their stupid product name, but I'm willing to bet all the rest of the "offee" is still in there in full force. Not even for free would I try this stuff.
At least he didn't try to use those five words on me.
4 comments:
Coffee does taste like coffee. Coke Blak is awful stuff. I believe that if coffee is not hot, throw it out. LWC loves the smell, but she can't stand the bitterness. I used to be like that too.
rtfhk = Read The Fucking Heckler-Koch
(sorry couldn't pass that one up)
What the hell is Coke Blak? If it's what it sounds like - Coke with coffee flavor -- I can't imagine anything more vile. I'd drink Diet Coke first. Hell, I'd drink diet Pepsi first, and those of you who know me know how unlikely that is.
Hate the taste, hate the smell. Always have. And I don't try to justify it to anybody.
I like coffee and I like coke. Coke Blak doesn't taste like either, it is like Chuck says awful.
I think the only purpose of water is to act as a carrier for caffeine or alcohol, maybe both. So I like coffee, good coffee, strong coffee - but I don't like it being cacked up by being made into bizarre concococtions like Crappucinos. They don't taste like coffee, just bad.
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