Bond, Part 1

Much earlier this year, I set out on a little movie "quest" to watch all of the James Bond movies in order. Well, "re-watch," for the most part; I had seen nearly all of them, though some I remember much better than others.

I'm still working on it, but I'm close enough to the end now that I'll probably find time to finish by the end of the year. So I figured I'd start a short review series detailing my thoughts as I've been chugging along. First up, the Sean Connery years.

I know for many that Connery is and always will be the James Bond. But by the time I was old enough to see my first Bond film, Roger Moore had been doing them longer than Connery ever did. This is not to say that I necessarily think of Moore as the definitive James Bond (though I think you'd find many in my generation who indeed feel that way). Rather, I just don't overly romanticize the Connery films.

He did make a good Bond. A real jerk at times, which I suppose is accurate to the books. But very smooth, and very much the one who set the tone for spy thrillers in general for many years to come. But how were the movies?

Dr. No - Anyone who tells you that in the beginning, Bond films weren't so crazy and over-the-top needs to go back and watch Dr. No. Sure, things got more lavish and ridiculous later on in the series, but this first movie is hardly grounded in reality. The title character has two black prosthetic hands, runs a nuclear-powered secret base on a Caribbean island, and tries to have Bond assassinated at one point by releasing a tarantula in his hotel room. Some parts of the film are pretty cool, but overall it feels very slow-paced to me. The middle act is a fight to stay awake at times. This film is strong for its characters, not for its plot. I give it a C+.

From Russia With Love - This film was the first time a "title song" was recorded for the opening credits of a Bond film. It's languid and slow, and likely to induce coma. Rather like the film. Much of it takes place on a train from... well, somewhere to somewhere else... I forget now, months later, because I was so bored. There's some fun moments with Blofeld, crazy Rosa Klebb and the knife in her shoe, and not much else worth your time, in my opinion. I give it a D-.

Goldfinger - Now we're talking. There's a reason this film is one of the most highly regarded of the Bonds. There's a great heist at the core of the plot. The villain delivers one of the most memorable lines in all cinema ("No, Mister Bond, I expect you to die!"), and then that great scene is followed up seconds later with the unforgettable introduction of Pussy Galore. There are flaws in the film, to be sure (and I talked about some of those a few months ago, when I got to see Goldfinger on the big screen), but I still give it a B.

Thunderball - A very cool opening sequence involving a jet pack, and then it almost immediately starts going downhill. Something about a missing plane, and lots of ploddingly slow underwater action. Not as boring as that damn train ride two movies earlier, though. I give it a D.

You Only Live Twice - I know Goldfinger's supposed to be "the best Connery Bond film," but for my money, it's this one. Maybe it's just that I loved astronauts and outer space growing up and still have a soft spot for it all. (And this film's take on it all, though stretched at times, isn't patently ludicrous like Moonraker... but more on that another time.) But how can you not love a hidden volcano lair? A frakkin' helicopter you can build from a few briefcases? A giant group of ninjas laying the smack down at the end of the film? This movie has it all.... including, unfortunately, some casually racist handling of the Japanese that is a mark of time period. I give this film a B+.

On Her Majesty's Secret Service - This was actually not a Connery Bond film, but it fell here chronologically. George Lazenby took over the role, and it's not hard to see why that lasted only the one film. This should have been a very cool story, with Bond actually settling down and marrying (Diana Rigg!) only to have his wife killed by evil agents. And a big ski chase for the first time in a Bond film. But no, this is absolutely a drag from start to finish -- all 2 hours and 16 minutes of it. I can't think of a single reason why anyone should see this movie. I give it an F.

Diamonds Are Forever - Connery's last "official" turn as James Bond (not counting the unaffiliated film Never Say Never Again). It involves the villain Blofeld, usually a good sign. Much of the film is set in Las Vegas, which is a complete head trip to see circa 1971. There's some good action and engaging sequences. But there are also many of the worst "minor villains" to ever appear in a James Bond movie. The kickboxing bimbos known only as Bambi and Thumper? The gross caricatures that are Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd? This odd blend of action, nostalgia, and annoyance is worth a C in my book.

Average all these grades together (throwing out Lazenby, of course), and Connery's James Bond filmography gets a C from me overall. But I think it's not entirely fair to look at that average as a reflection on what I thought of him as Bond. He definitely made some films worth seeing... and some films to avoid like the plague.

Sometime in the next week or two, I'll be moving on to the Roger Moore films. Until then...