Monday, April 28, 2008

Rink Up

So, this short tale/observation is kinda-sorta related to the fall of the drive-in movie theater I recently recounted. Kinda. Sorta.

There's this big indoor fun-nasium type kids place a few miles from my house. It's been there since the late 80s, when it first opened under the name Funplex. There was a bowling alley, two mini-golf courses, a bunch of rides and video games, and a skating rink. And a thing that always changed; for a while it was a Laser Tag arena, then it was this funky basketball obstacle course with trick backboards and crap. Now it's just more places to eat, I think.

Anyway, some time in the late 90s, it closed, then reopened under the name Fat City. You know, like Phat... but not. They tore out one of the mini-golf courses and put in a giant kid romper-room type place. But it was still basically the same thing.

Driving past it the other day, I noticed it had undergone another of its once-a-decade transformations, and has become Mr. Biggs. And it still probably hasn't changed.

Which got me thinking. Specifically, about that skating rink that's in there. Has been since day one. It's still there. Even though every free-standing skating rink I've ever known of closed its doors probably at least 15 years ago.

And is that surprising? When you get down to it, what's so neat about a skating rink? "Hey, you know what would be fun?! Let's go pay money to skate around in circles for a few hours!"

They try to change it up, of course. Spend two hours in a skating rink, and they'll pull out the limbo poles, have a song or two of "backwards skating," "couples skating," and whatever. But still, you're basically skating around in circles.

I can't believe I ever thought that was even remotely fun. And given all the super-fun distractions there are for the children of today, I can't imagine why any of them would find it remotely fun either.

All I can figure is the only reason this skating rink is still there is because it's attached to a mini-golf course, bowling alley, arcade, and romper room that's pulling in the money. Still, you'd think they would have long ago torn out the skating rink to put something else -- anything else -- in.

Unless someone can enlighten me as to what appeal there might be in the skating rink?

6 comments:

Tom said...

If it is a roller rink you are speaking of, it would be harder to say than if it is an ice rink. Ice rinks are good fun. There is something kind of otherworldly about ice skating. Humans weren't meant to do it, and that makes it cool. It can also transform someone with almost no grace in their body (raises hand) and make them into something a bit different.

But if it is a roller rink, I'm betting they put in roller hockey 15 years ago to fill the rink time. It is like hockey for people without skillz.

Roland Deschain said...

I remember the company I worked for about 5 years ago did a party there on a Friday afternoon. Some of my coworkers went down to skate for a while and one of them had a "get off my lawn" moment and got in a shouting match over the music playing.

Now mind you, not one of the teenagers there had an issue with the song, and i don't think the parents had a clue what the song meant.

"Pussy" by Lords of Acid. ;)

And really, I think that was the last time I've seen a significant number of people on that rink...

Anonymous said...

Ah, an interesting comment...

I'm actually trying to find a decent roller rink in my area.
And I'll tell you why. :)
(Hey, you asked for it!)

Roller skating with good lighting effects and cool music is a LOT of fun. The throngs of people who go to dance clubs can sort of relate to this, I guess. You're moving to the music in a nice ambiance (assuming the rink IS nice), but you're skating around -- which, in my book, makes it a lot more fun. You're dancing on wheels. (I don't really care for dance clubs, BTW.)

A lot of people tell me I should skate outdoors, but I don't give a damn about that. Skating outdoors is for the scenery -- but honestly, the wheels are so small on those skates that you're better off spending your time looking at the road for cracks, rocks and whatever might end up in your way. So if I want to take in the sights, I'll grab my bike and be done with it.

But when I'm skating, I want the most perfect surface possible -- and that's usually a varnished hardwood surface someplace indoors.
It's as simple as that.

(Of course, if you're just beginning and you spend all your time looking at the floor anyway because you're trying not to break your neck, then okay, you might as well be outside and take in some fresh air while you're at it. But for "experienced" stakers, there's nothing like the perfectly controlled conditions of an indoor rink. With lights and music! Man. That's the ticket.)

FKL

Roland Deschain said...

I'll also add that I can't skate (roller or ice) in part because of bad ankles- but mostly my total lack of coordination.

I look like a bloody cartoon character when I do the backwards fall when my entire body is in the air for about 3 seconds before landing.

Complete with the cartoon bubble over me waying "Oof."

But now that ya do mention it, this one IS the only open rink that I can think of that is still around...and I've been racking my brain!

DrHeimlich said...

Tom -- I do totally buy that ice skating is a different proposition. The "we're going in circles" thing is still a bit suspect to me, but at least at the ice rink, you're doing something you can't necessarily do otherwise.

FKL -- Which I guess makes your point compelling too. I'm still not sure *I* ever want to go roller skating, but bless the people (hopefully there are enough of them) to keep the last few places open.

Anonymous said...

I just went to the FatCity website, just curious. They don't have roller skating anymore... But they do have indoor go-cart racing. I'm guessing that makes more money.

~James