Sunday, July 03, 2005

Your Show of Shows

In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate, yet equally important groups: some rich and flush with the new technology; some, not so much. Sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit, these men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. They may have been the architects of the great pyramids, or the lost civilizations of Lemuria or Atlantis.

I'm putting up $5,000 that says I know more than you. I was sworn to secrecy, but I couldn't keep it from my fiancé, and when the head of SD-6 found out, he had him killed. I am the wild blue yonder, the front line in a never-ending battle between good... and not-so good. For those who follow my lead, life can be a paradise. But for those who don't, it can be a mighty rough road. One touch, and I can see things: things that happened, things that will happen. Right now, terrorists are plotting to assassinate a presidential candidate. My wife and daughter have been targeted. And people that I work with may be involved in both.

You are about to enter another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A self-contained world five miles long, located in neutral territory. A place of commerce and diplomacy for a quarter of a million humans and aliens. It's the same year, and you're the same person — but everything else is different. There is nothing wrong with your television set. Do not attempt to adjust the picture. This is jeopardy!

The creature is driven by rage, and pursued by an investigative reporter. Its five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations. We can rebuild him. We have the technology. We can make him better, stronger, faster. His only guide on this journey is Al, an observer from his own time, who appears in the form of a hologram that only Sam can see and hear.

Today, these three players are after Big Bucks! Jake Foley was an ordinary guy, until a freak accident made him into the first computer-enhanced man. Superman — strange visitor from another planet who came to Earth with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men! Michael Knight — a young loner on a crusade to champion the cause of the innocent, the helpless, the powerless, in a world of criminals who operate above the law.

Now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything, and the one son who had no choice but to keep them all together. This is the story of two sisters, Jessica Tate and Mary Campbell. The winner? The one who answers the question: who is The Mole? She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons, and the forces of darkness. They're here, they're hostile. Powerful people don't want you to know. History is a lie.

The story you've just seen is true. The names were changed to protect the innocent.

10 comments:

TheGirard said...

Wow...I'm impressed.

I could probably name about 70-80% of those references.

Jason said...

And Cheers is filmed before a live studio audience.

Anonymous said...

That's a pretty nice run. And if nothing else, it shows you have some good taste in TV. :)

Anonymous said...

Nice :)

Davíd said...

You know you've watched too much tv when...

...I can name most of those references.

I think more television shows nowadays need an opening voiceover. They really add something.

thisismarcus said...

Can someone help me identify the first sentence, Jake Foley, and the $5000? Thanks. Great post.

DrHeimlich said...

The first sentence starts off with Law & Order before morphing into Firefly. The $5000 is from Win Ben Stein's Money. The Jake Foley bit is from Jake 2.0.

Should I maybe publish an "answer key?"

Anonymous said...

Well, give it a couple more days - I'm still working on my guess. :)

thisismarcus said...

Yes please, but we should e-mail you first. Thanks for the four free ones!

DrHeimlich said...

I'll do a new post in a couple of days with all the "answers."