The cover of this week's Entertainment Weekly magazine posed the interesting question: "What's the Worst Movie Ever Made? SEE PAGE 46"
I start working my way through the magazine, expecting to get to an article on a handful of famously bad movies. Or maybe a piece on Plan 9 From Outer Space, or something. I was surprised when I got there, though. In fact, they did a complete article on the very worst movie of all time:
Manos: The Hands of Fate.
If you haven't seen this film, I can't possibly begin to describe to you how bad it is. We're not talking subjective, "oh, you're such a critic; it can't be that bad" bad. We're talking absolute, objective badness. On IMDb, this movie is actually rated as the very worst movie ever made. The fact that its title translates to "Hands: The Hands of Fate" ought to begin to give you some inkling of what's going on with this movie.
Manos was featured in what is arguably the most popular, well-known episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000. (Which is how I saw it.) Odds are if you've ever seen even one episode of MST3K, this was the one. And Joel and the Bots brought their "A game."
Once you see this movie, it will stay with you forever. The ridiculous handprinted robe of "The Master," the convulsive stagger of the inconceivably strange Torgo (and his accompanying theme music), the "night" scenes shot in broad daylight, the 5-minute catfight among the women in the oversized girdles... if you were trying to make a movie worse than Manos: The Hands of Fate, you would fail.
Anyway, reading the article made me laugh out loud several times. I thought I'd share the enjoyment with those of you like me who have scene The Worst Movie Ever Made.
6 comments:
Was it worse than Episode III? Or is that not eligible yet?
I knew I'd be able to rely on someone else to bring up Episode III, which is the only reason I didn't bring it up myself. Congrats on winning the award for this one, Tom.
Seriously, though, as much as I disliked Episode III, it's still an Oscar-worthy cinematic masterpiece next to Manos: The Hands of Fate.
Don't watch Manos unless you can get your hands on the MST3K treatment. You'll want to stick spikes in your eyes and ears.
wait...is this the one with the Interociter?
Worse than The Village?!
I'm amazed it made it past Plan 9 From Outer Space, the original Glen or Glenda or The Terror of Tiny Town (who can resist a Western with a cast of midgets?).
Maybe I'll have to accept my free subscription to 8 issues of Entertainment Weekly available from Best Buy....or just mug Piers.
I believe the "interociter" comes from the movie This Island Earth. That was the bad movie featured in "Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie." And it's a pretty bad film. Still, it can't lay a hand on Manos. (Get it?!)
If you do accept the Best Buy trial subscription, beware. I've heard the rumor that after the 8 weeks are up, they just roll you into a regular subscription if you don't specifically cancel it. One day, a bill just shows up.
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