Shuffle Up and Do Your Housework

A friend of mine sent me a link to this story about online poker bots, rightly thinking that I'd be interested. The short explanation, for those who don't want to read the article, is that a "poker bot" is a program that connects to your online poker room software and plays automatically for you, according to a preset strategy. As most of the online poker community is made up of stupid newbs, and the bot is playing perfect mathematical strategy, your computer will make money for you literally while you're asleep, on vacation, at work, whatever.

Most of the online poker rooms frown on this sort of thing, and pledge themselves as "no bot" zones. As you can imagine, the bot programmers see this only as a gauntlet thrown down at them, and lump such warnings in with RIAA-style threats against music downloaders.

And while I have to admit that I would not want to be sitting at a table online against nine infinitely patient poker bots, I don't mind if they pop up here and there. Actually, if there were a poker bot playing at my table, I'd be thrilled, given that I'd actually spotted it for what it was.

Why?

Because about nine times out of ten, when I lose I hand, it's because some crazy player calls me down with garbage and catches some miracle card to break me. I am glad people like this are playing -- that's how you make your money at poker, from other people's mistakes. But when a table fills up with a bunch of these players? Well, it can get a little rough.

If a bot were at my table, and I knew it for a bot, things would be much easier. I'd know it was working strictly and unerringly from "Hold 'Em Poker for Advanced Players," by Sklansky and Malmuth, or a similar source. I'd know when it raised me to take it seriously, as opposed to the average online player, who could be raising me with any two suited cards -- or worse! -- for all I know. The bot is a known, completely predictable factor.

And that's quite a rarity at a poker table.